Captain James Cross - HUZZAH!

Editor's Note: Those looking for the highlights should jump straight to the turnsheet 6 and 7 news written by Ann.

Brother of the MP Alexander Cross, James is a bluff athletic sort whose response to everything in life is either to laugh heartily at it or hit it till its broken. He heartily disapproves of his brother's career since only liars and cheats have jobs that involve talking to people instead of hitting them, and often writes badly written letters to his brother explaining this.

To Captain James Cross

James,

I Hope that this Letter Finds you Well. Would you Believe it, of Late I have Found Myself acting in an Almost Military Manner? I Wondered if you Fanceid meeting Up and Engaging in a bit of Friendly Sparring as when We were Children. I think You will find that I am Much Improved from when you Last gave me a Drubbing, but No Doubt I could still Benefit from some Instruction.

I am soon to be made Baron of Schijndel, in the Netherlands. I suspect that your Company may be send Over There soon, We could Meet up. It would be Good to See you Again, James.

Your Brother,

Alexander

An extract from the turnsheet response of Sir Alexander Cross, MP. Written by Fed.

You arrive at your Schijndel estate and proceed to inspect your lands and discover the horrible truth - you don't get much out of a land that's just had three armies pass at hungry speed through it. Still, that's purview of the peasants and, Dutch as they are, you expect them to deal with it all. You yourself retire to the rather splendid (but slightly knocked-up, down and around) manor. You are soon greeted by a troop of Cavalry led by the roaring Captain Cross.

Dismounting, your brother approaches you, shakes your hand, slaps your shoulder, shakes you about a bit and grins widely. After exchanging pleasantries the grin starts to disappear and slowly turns into a positive scowl before James Cross proceeds to scream and shout at you about your awful involvement in the career of politicians. The diatribe is hardly enlightening, especially since James has the habit of not making an ounce of sense occasionally, but you bear it with good grace (aha-ha) and eventually soften it all with a slight smile and promise to be more careful in your life.

The troop of Dragoons have a roaring time on your refreshed estate and you while away a good couple of weeks training, but before James can teach you anything complex and drag you off to the siege of Antwerp to storm the walls the troop receive specific orders and Captain Cross must speed off to some daring, and inevitable unnecessary, rescue.

Still, you got a good bit of tutelage out of it.

An extract from the turnsheet response of Sir Alexander Cross, MP. Written by Fed.

To compound the bad news, you return to receive a missive relating to Sir James Cross - at a coffeehouse Oswyn Osillbury and Sir James had an altercation during which Sir James punched Osillbury in the face. Damn relatives.

An extract from the turnsheet response of Oswyn Osillbury. Written by Fed.

You have an argument in coffeehouse with Sir James Cross (Sir Alexander's brother). He thinks you're too effeminate etc etc and eventually proceeds to punch you in the face. If you can - turn up to court with a black eye. If not, it's healed.

Dearest Brother,

The Vile Spanish have Kidnapped Duke Milton's Daughter and locked her away in some Dark Fortress. Colonel de Vries and I are resolved to Rescue her, No Matter the Cost! The Colonel has Indicated that I should hang at the back at Stay out of the Fighting; but You and I both Know that men of the Cross Family are not Suited to Skulking when their are Spaniards to be Spitted!

I'll need to Prove to the Colonel that I'm just as Capable in front of the Enemy as his Dragoons. The Family's Reputation is at stake After All. Can you therefore spare some time from your Soldiering to Train me once more in the Noble Art of Cutting People's Heads Off?

I hope to See you Soon, a Sword in Hand and Ready to Face the Foe!

Your brother,

Alex.

P.s. I took care of that Tiresome Tailor; he won't Bother you with his Unmanly Mewling again.

Brother Alexander,

The Viscount de Vries is a most heroic and honourable fighter of the Dragoons and not easily pleased. It is pleasing that you want to show yourself in a better light and in such an honourable pursuit as the rescue of a damsel in distress.

I am required to train my own new troops within the Regiment now that we are returned to England and cannot devote much time to this I am afraid, but I will make sure to call on you at the earliest opportunity for lessons.

I hope that, if I am permitted by my own Colonel, or if Viscount de Vries would requisition me for this task, I could accompany you on this task.

Captain Cross
Earl of Essex' Dragoons

[…] Captain James laughs heartily while banging Spaniards together by the helmet. “Look, brother, this is how it’s done! None of this poncy writing poetry and attending parliamentary debates! HUZZAH!” […]

…Naturally I was Appalled to hear that a fine English Flower had been Carried off by the Vile Spanish, and so I resolved that Action should be taken. My Brother, Captain James Cross, was Much in Agreement, and so we applied to the Honourable Viscount de Vries that we be Included amongst the Rescue party…

…Having made our Entrance to the Yellow Dogs' lair we then unleashed a Great Slaughter upon the Assembled Villains, for None could Stand Against the Righteous Fury of our Company…

…And so we Burst forth from the Spanish Fortress e'en as the Powder Store did Erupt in a Most fantastic Display of Devastation. The Lady Milton being Overcome by her Ordeal, I Carried her towards the Safety of our Ship, as my brother and the Colonel Bravely Battled the Surviving Spaniards.

From the turnsheet response of Sir Alexander Cross, MP. Written in GM meeting, authorship uncertain.

[…] Just off Gibraltar, the ship is confronted by three superior ships flying Spanish colours.

Don Santiago announces himself as the leader of the fleet, and demands parlay. Stepping on board with a large number of threatening Spaniards, he kindly asks Sir Alexander and all other passengers to dock on a Spanish port.

Fun Ensues.

A number of the pilgrims suddenly reveal themselves as soldiers in disguise, led by the Baron Luca of Tralee. They proceed to kill or capture the majority of the Spanish crews, while Sii Maou is once again very distressed by the musket-fire and remains cowering beneath the ship’s keep for the duration. Don Santiago defends himself and manages to make it back to his ship, hotly pursued by the hot-headed though skilled Captain James, who fights a dramatic duel with him on the foredeck. Luca signals one of the three Spanish ships, which suddenly runs up English colours and opens fire on one of the Spanish ships (not Don Santiago’s), sinking it.

Meanwhile Don Santiago wins his duel with Captain Cross, raising a pistol and firing with uncanny accuracy to shatter Captain Cross’ blade. Captain Cross, visibly shaken but still maintaining his dignity, hands over the hilt of his sword and gives him his parole; the ship is already speeding away and is soon out of range of either cannon. Luca's ship attempts pursuit, but the Spanish sailors’ knowledge of these waters allows them to escape.

Distressed by these terrible events but unwilling to continue their quest, and safe in the knowledge that Captain Cross won’t be harmed by this honourable ransom situation, the pilgrims continue on their way. Lord Luca returns to England.

The party arrive in the Holy Land without further event. […]

A series of lurid pamphlets detailing the adventures of Captain James Cross in Spain, written by “An Observer” [Written by Ann.]

…and so, leaping from the bedroom window of the maiden, and proclaiming that it was a “Pity about breakfast” the Captain stopped only to confront the regiment of Spanish regulars sent to Bring him down for Assault upon the Conde of Barcelona. Defeating them with a complicated manoeuvre involving a church bell, thirty feet of rope and a water wheel, he proceeded on…

…punching the sharks upon the Nose as he went, Captain Cross was halfway to England before he was Accosted by a vessel of Barbary Pirates, who were Most Surprised to have their ship taken out from under them, as Captain Cross registered the Complaint “Damned sharks, no sense of Direction!”

A new pamphlet by “An Observer”, detailing the further adventures of Captain James Cross. [Written by Ann.]

What better token of affection for a blushing bride (and blushing with good reason, for did not the Honeymoon of the Couple leave a trail of Forlorn Hostellers and Jubilant Woodcrafters, as each night a different Bed was Broken into splinters by their Passion) than the Head of a Horrific monstrosity Fabricated by Franzberg?

With a whirl of blades Cross leapt into motion, and the Child Creation against him, Swinging Swords larger than a full-grown man. A Deadly Duel was fought, as Flames Flashed from the creature along with blades, but the Captain Fought on, Fearless.

With a Stroke Swift as Sunlight (and bright too, as the Fire Flashed off his blade) he removed the head, catching it with one hand as he leapt back as the body Exploded. Carried by the Blast he landed in front of his Wife, who was Watching from the Safety of a Ship. As they Set Sail, he was heard to remark:

“Well, that Woke me up! Now, why don't you and I…”

It is hardly this Observer's place to Report on Matters of a Private Nature, and so the Rest of the Remark has been Removed for Respectability.

This hasn't stopped various suggestions getting pencilled in in the circulating copies, everything from a suggestion that his wife might like to join him in testing the strength of the ship's construction to prayer for the souls of Franzberg and his guards to some things which would likely be physically impossible, even for the Captain.