News: Turn 2 (October 1642-March 1643)

The prince is returned

Announced with great fanfare, pretty much everywhere

“Following a massive effort, His Royal Highness Prince William has been returned to the Royal Household. The prince is making a good recovery from his ordeal.

“A cruel plot has emerged, and investigations are ongoing to find the perpetrators. No man of Albion should rest until those guilty of this vile crime are brought to justice.

“The King would like to thank all those involved in the rescue effort.”

A Proposal for the Founding of a Navy under the Direction of the King

From a pamphlet circulated in Bristol, though versions seem suddenly common throughout Albion. […] and though none can Doubt the willingness of the Privateers of Albion, they Lack the esprit de corp of the Dashing Dragoons, that unity of purpose and Deadliness that comes of fighting a Single force. Eash Dragoon resplendent in his Proud uniform knows that the the brother that stands in the ranks beside him would Lay down his Life in a moment to defend him, and he would Gladly return the Noble Deed. The members of the Venerable Order, though undoubtedly brave individually, fights as a Rabble - each ship fighting its own Little war. Albion needs more, she needs a Navy cut from the same Daring cloth as her Dragoons […]

The Lost Army of Alexander the Great

From a discrete and stylish pamphlet distributed in the better class of coffeehouse Sir Elias Ashmole invites the gentry of Oxford and Albion beyond to inspect a fine collection of curiosities at his townhouse. Recently added is a suit of hoplite armour decorated with the feathers of a hundred different birds from the dark heart of Africa. And with it the diaries of the adventurer Benny Willard, from which we extract.

[…] I little trust Hoppa the half-Portugese guide my new masters have saddled me with; I suspect him to contain a little too much Spanish blood and know he contains far too much Catholic. He spends his time watching the banks, fingering his rosary with his eyes darting about, as we continue upriver. It will be a relief to reach the trading post and the man I must kill […] ambushed during the night, I saw nothing of them but strange shadows in the trees and a rhythmic slapping of some strange instrument. I fired my old arqebus and its roar terrified them, they fled howling into the night. In the morning I discovered that in my luck I had slain one of them and he still wore his armour of burnished bronze. It reminded me somewhat of the armour of knights though at the waist it had but an armoured skirt. […] he was not dead though he is now; he cried out in something like Greek at the end, I recognised what might have been “phalanx”, “promise” and “death” amongst his words before the end […]

The pamphlet adds that viewings may be arranged, for the peerage, by appointment only.

The Parliamentary Session

A short pamphlet entitled “All Westminster's Men”, distributed around Oxford and some major towns

The Coffeehouse Parliament is in session, for what else to call such a useless body where much is discussed but little is done. What great feats did the cream of Albion's nobles and clergy and gentlemen have laid before them this season? Why such weighty matters as the counting of heads and the placing of a new hat upon another. This parliament is the home of a band of accountants who would weigh and measure all Albion but will not vote the money to defend her. Their solution to the treasons rife within the Highlands, the worshipping of every flavour of heresy so long as it comes from a bearded mouth, is solved by creating a new Archbishop who shall cower within his palace in Edinburgh. Perhaps when the reavers descend to smash his churches he may send to Parliament for enough hot air to waft him to safety. He will find no troops for the Lords at their coffee will sip and talk but not raise regiments or build ships.

From Hansard, the voting record for the major motions before the previous sitting of Parliament

1. A bill to institute a new census for the measuring of the strength and prosperity of Albion:

Ayes Nays
Lord Edward Marshal, Earl of Glastonbury Lady Morag Douglas, Countess of Kyle of Lochalsh
The Most Reverend Henry Lockett, Bishop of Leeds Lord Owain Herbert, Earl of Pembroke
Major the Lady Anastasia Constance Menzies Hamilton, Viscountess Hexham
Colonel the Lord Adam O'Farrel, Viscount of Athlone
The Right Honourable Lord John Wyndham, Baron Wyndham, MP
Major-General the Lord Walter Devereux, Earl of Hereford

The motion was carried in both Houses and the bill passed into law.

2. A bill to establish a new Archbishopric in Edinburgh to bring the subjects of the King in Scotland into the fold of the Church of England and out of error:

Ayes Nays
Lord Edward Marshal, Earl of Glastonbury Lady Morag Douglas, Countess of Kyle of Lochalsh
The Most Reverend Henry Lockett, Bishop of Leeds Lord Owain Herbert, Earl of Pembroke
Major the Lady Anastasia Constance Menzies Hamilton, Viscountess Hexham Colonel the Lord Adam O'Farrel, Viscount of Athlone
The Right Honourable Lord John Wyndham, Baron Wyndham, MP
Major-General the Lord Walter Devereux, Earl of Hereford

The motion was carried in both Houses and the bill passed into law. The Bill only barely scraped through the Lords and would have been lost if only a few swing votes had been influenced the right way. A new archbishop is yet to be selected.

Please Note: Players who are MPs or eligible to sit in the House of Lords may propose motions and vote on them in the coming week. Motions are submitted with turnsheets before Thursday Midnight after which they will be announced and votes must be submitted before Saturday Midnight.


From The Rake of Fashion, a regular pamphlet found at the best tailors and dressmakers in Oxford

And for women this seasons colours should be rich navy blues with creme satin lining, as warn most admirably by the Lady Hamilton. Being a Major in the Dragoons it is unsurprising that the Viscountess should affect a vaguely military theme to her ensembles, but it is a fashion trend that no noblewoman can ignore. Indeed the Lady Charlton has taken it to the next level and has somehow managed to make the cavalry sword a symbol of feminity. The Rake feels however that her army boots are perhaps a step too far!

The Lady Hamilton has accessorised with stylish ladies cloth caps; a practical touch which must have had many a gentlewoman winging a prayer her way as she stepped daintily through our Albion rain. For the boat race she wore a suit in Invisible colours with matching craveat with silver edging. Many a wag has been heard to remark that they would wish to see the eligible young woman in an entirely invisible suit!

A Manifesto for the Formation of a New Navy

This is an extraordinarily large pamphlet, so much so that one is actually expected to pay for the thing as if it were a proper book or treatise! A few or sold as novelties but more go to the serious young ladies and lords that patrol the corridors of parliament; it is clear that the idea of forming a new Royal Navy is being considered in that body.

The pamphlet itself is a dry listing of regulations and ranks and proposed fleet signals. It is clear that although improvement is possible that a workable navy could indeed be formed by following the instructions of the manifesto.

Included too is a list of proposed regulations that shall govern the Navy, they include:

  • All commanders, captains, and officers, in or belonging to any of His Majesty's ships or vessels of war, shall cause the public worship of Almighty God, according to the liturgy of the Church of England established by law or by the rituals traditional of the Judaic faith, to be solemnly, orderly and reverently performed in their respective ships; and shall take care that prayers and preaching, by the chaplains and rabbis in holy orders of the respective ships, be performed diligently; and that the Lord's day be observed according to law.
  • Every person in the fleet, who through cowardice, negligence, or disaffection, shall in time of action withdraw or keep back, or not come into the fight or engagement, or shall not do his utmost to take or destroy every ship which it shall be his duty to engage, and to assist and relieve all and every of His Majesty's ships, or those of his allies, which it shall be his duty to assist and relieve, every such person so offending, and being convicted thereof by the sentence of a court martial, shall suffer death.
  • The officers and seamen of all ships appointed for convoy and guard of merchant ships, or of any other, shall diligently attend upon that charge, without delay, according to their instructions in that behalf; and whosoever shall be faulty therein, and shall not faithfully perform their duty, and defend the ships and goods in their convoy, without either diverting to other parts or occasions, or refusing or neglecting to fight in their defence, if they be assailed, or running away cowardly, and submitting the ships in their convoy to peril and hazard; or shall demand or exact any money or other reward from any merchant or master for convoying any ships or vessels entrusted to their care, or shall misuse the masters or mariners thereof; shall be condemned to make reparation of the damage to the merchants, owners, and others, as the court of admiralty shall adjudge, and also be punished criminally according to the quality of their offences, be it by pains of death, or other punishment, according as shall be adjudged fit by the court martial.

The Boat-Race

A report on the results of this year's Oxford boat-race.

”…the incident between the Invisible boat, the 'Argos', and the second Cain's College boat, the 'Arthemus', causing some shock and concern among the onlookers; happily there were no fatalities, but the swimming skills of the Cain's team were put very much to the test, and the damage to the Arthemus sadly prevented it providing much competition to the first Cain's boat, the Pembroke Rising.

…Theurgists are still investigating the precise nature of the Angelic being which was widely witnessed to descend upon the Scone College boat and replace both the injured rower and his neighbour; many Oxford clergy are disdainful of the idea that the occurrence was a 'Celestial practical joke', and instead point to the many shining examples of the more martial angels of the Host favouring Christians with such symbolic assistance in times of peace…

…the Pembroke Rising finished a very respectable first, despite a good deal of havering from the Committee over whether it was a strictly legal entry. There are wide rumours that the Rules of the Boat-Race will once again be revised in time for next year's competition, to disallow such boats as the Pembroke…

…Earl Pembroke himself awarded the Cain's College first boat crew, as promised, with a very respectable reward for their efforts, and was heard to loudly exalt the virtues of the worthy Magicians of the College. It is rumoured that the Dawkins Institute is interested in the winning design, and may be seeking to fit itself with a similar mechanism…”

A Cardinal Death

A notice served at various coffee houses and salons of Oxford, penned by some bystander in the events

… standing in the very path of madenned hordes of babbling peasants! That such a rabble could yet be raised in Oxford I knew not. Then hefting hook and crook and crying for the blood of Catholics stormed through the streets. Following, not hoping now to Calm the tempers of these Common folk, I hoped to at least forewarn our Catholic guests…

… and came too late, for now they had ripped from the Cardinal his own arm and the offending criminal did proceed to bash the Churchman to his death. So died Cardinal Doumani and it is anger that now wells up within me at the thought such acts are to be laid at the hands of Englishmen.

A pamphlet released soon after Cardinal Doumani's death in France and eventually see in Calais and Dunkerque

The True Horrors of the English way are now revealed - ruled by those who raise the crowds in the name of Hell. For who else could incense the people to destroy the Cardinal's life but the diabolists who Infect yet Albion with their false and foul ways. Are these the people we once called friend? We must redeem and revenge ourself on this last bastion of evil and cleanse Albion for the rule of Christ!

Anglican Church Moves North

From a pamphlet keeping the common folk up to date on the important events at court.

The King himself has come out in favour of the new Archbishopric of Edinburgh. Indeed, he seems favourably inclined toward the sponsor of the bill, His Grace Henry Lockett, Bishop of Leeds. The motion passed with a large majority in the Lords, and should help civilise the more unruly areas of Scotland and extend the influence of the Anglican Church.

The Bishop of Leeds is also the most popular candidate for the new Archbishopric, supported by the King Himself as well as many members of the Church impressed by his hard-line stance on Recusancy and Heresy.

Pembroke’s Rapid Expansion

Extract from a pamphlet about the Oxford University.

Work on the new Pembroke College continues apace, with the outer shell of the first quad almost complete. Land has been purchased for the second quad, but building work has not yet started. The owner of the ailing Earl of Worcester coffee house next door was initially uninterested in selling, but when presented with a cart full of coins of varying denominations promptly left Oxford at high speed, giggling.

It is unknown how much money the Earl of Pembroke has available, but if he continues spending at this rate Pembroke College looks set to become one of the largest in the city. Or possibly in the world.

Hurrah For the Bishop of Leeds!

An anonymous pamphlet distributed among the more devout districts.

Listen to the Words of the Good Bishop! Where most men ignore the Heretics and Blasphemers, His Grace Henry Lockett strides forth like unto a Beacon of Light, driving out and imprisoning the Ungodly Recusants! Flowers grow on the ground he walks, and in villages where he's Cleansed the Heretic, no more are babies Sillborn, NO MORE are there Deformed cows, NO MORE do Snakes grow Three Heads and speak the Gospel backwards in Arabic! HURRAH for the Bishop of Leeds, our most blessed saviour! HURRAH, and may almighty God Bless his Work.

Many recusants have recently been rounded up and fined or imprisoned for failing to attend Church or Shul. The Church of England is continuing its search for more..

Bar Brawl

A brief pamphlet war breaks out after Colonel O'Farrel was involved in a brawl in the Lamb and Flag, a tavern in Oxford favoured by members of the Order

…most Noble Colonel was Viley assaulted, as the Seamen challenged both his Lineage and Honour. Demanding Refusing to give him satisfaction, they instead struck a Low Blow, and proceeded to thrust him into the Bar in an attempt at ending the life of this Brave man for good…

…reacting to a friendly jest with violence, O'Farrel laid into our lads, and it is uncertain if one will ever recover the use of his legs. This is typical of what we have come to expect of the Dragoons – no Royal Army, but a Rowdy militia…

Colonel O'Farrel

A section in the military dispatches.

Despite the terrible imbalance to his humours suffered in the wars in the Americas, Colonel O'Farrel has not let himself be parted from his Regiment, despite being removed from active duty. His Diligence and Devotion to Duty should be an example to all.

Expedition to El Dorado

A notice circulated around all locations where privateers are known to congregate.

Captain Gwendolyn de Vries is looking for brave men and women of all skills and professions to mount an expedition to El Dorado. Honour, glory and huge piles of gold await us! Sense of self-preservation not required.

Cornish Crisis

Though the valiant Lady Morag Fought the Dread Pirates with all her Skill, the Attacks on shipping off Cornwall have Increased, as the Treacherous Pirates took advantage of the Confusion caused by the missing Prince.

Where this fine Woman has lead We too should follow, and not Shirk the Defence of out Country but Fight Tirelessly to protect the Merchantmen who have made it Great.

The Oxford Idler

Extracts from “The Oxford Idler”, a popular pamphlet which mostly devotes itself to reviews of the literary world.

“Productions of 'The Scottish Play', in addition to several other pieces both satirising and examining the unrest in the North, have been popular this season, with several Courtiers choosing to attend and 'be seen'. The latest comedies have had a somewhat subdued theme, following the kidnap of the Prince, and the New Rose's production of Henry XI was cancelled early in its run…”

”…The Patron of the New Rose, meanwhile, seems to have capitalised on the Scottish situation by encouraging his men to put on a series of hysterical comedies, satirising the Puritans, the clergy, the local witches, the seditionists, the royalists, the Scots and the English alike… the jokes may be a little too close to the bone for some tastes, but the common folk are nevertheless greatly enamoured of the Nameless Patron's latest efforts…”

”…rumours are rife that one of the Oxford Companies intends to put on a production of 'Sansenoy' this season; a daring though delicate move in the current climate, and speculation is high as to which Company is sufficiently courageous.”

('Sansenoy', written during the reign of King Henry by the famous Rebecca Lanik, still holds a place as one of the finest and most famous works of drama ever written in English. In brief, the plot centres around an angel and a mortal woman who fall in love.)

Oxford's Finest New Salon

”…The mysterious Eastern scholar, Baron Haroun ibn Rasheed, having recently opened a fine Salon at his establishment, the Midnight Rose, is now renowned throughout the town for the quality of his company, the discretion of his staff and the excellent conversation to be found there, with some of the leading lights of the Capital's social scene regularly enjoying a fine afternoon over wine and tobacco.

In addition, for those more attached to enjoying the company of the ladies of ibn Rasheed's establishment than to scholarly discourse or hands of piquet, I hear that the establishment boasts lively and beautiful girls from all manner of exotic locales - and of the type quite suitable to be seen on one's arm at Court occasions, in addition to their more discreet talents… and do you know, I hear he's offering a first visit to the inner chambers of his establishment free? Though only to the right people, you understand… you won't find any paupers or poxed peasants at the Rose.”

The Midnight Rose has become very popular among the 'bright young things' of Oxford this season. It is still seen as a slightly risque and edgy place, but it is becoming increasingly fashionable to 'be seen' at the establishment.

A Pamphlet from the Continent

Extract from a pamphlet popular on the Continent, though suppressed heavily by several governments, which has made its way to Albion.

”…and it should be clear to any Right-Thinking Christian man or woman that this Nefarious Deed, the kidnapping of fair Prince William by of Albion the Heinous Foes of God and Christendom, can but be laid at the door of that Arch-Nemesis, the Bishop of Rome, who lies in obscene state at the heart of his corrupt Papacy, like a monstrous Canker upon the face of Europe! The Free Peoples of Europe must no longer lie under his Heretical Yoke like unthinking Cattle, but must rise up against his Tyranny and corrupt Simony, and declare themselves once again the people of God…!”

The pamphlet continues in a similar vein for some length. This is but one of the many rumours circulating around Europe and Albion, almost all blaming the Vatican for the assault on the Twin Princes.

Flaming Sword Missing From Canterbury

Gossip making its way around the coffee houses of Albion.

“… yes, Uriel's Flaming Sword! Vanished from the nave of Canterbury Cathedral in the dead of night! Nobody knows a thing! And what's even stranger is that the Jar of Hellfire kept there was left untouched! Surely only a complete blackguard would commit such blasphemy, stealing from a church! Tell you what, though – the reward's they're offering is huge – if you hear anything, let me know, yes?”

“… I heard that it's not actually a sword – it's the Angel Uriel himself, embodied in a sword! Although how anybody could steal that I have no idea. And what could they want an embodied Angel for?”

Smashing Spain!

An entry in a pamphlet full of fantastic stories published by “An Observer” which has great popularity amongst commoners.

No need to fear, the Observer hasn't gone Senile and taken a Shine to the Spanish! No, our Praise is for the Privateers, whose Captain Smashing Shattered their Ships and sent them Sloping home! The Foul Spaniards had also been holding a fair Arabian Princess hostage, who was Most Grateful to her Rescuer!

Why would we need a Royal Navy when we have Fine Folk like Captain Smashing in the Order?

The end of all that is right

A grimy pamphlet in some lower class taverns

The Dragoons think they know all about war, but THEY ARE WRONG. The Order of Sir Walter Raleigh shall be the SAVIOURS OF ALBION. Should the Dragoons go through with their dastardly plan to replace the Order with a Navy, ALBION WILL BE DOOMED! A Navy will be THE END OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT!


A Navy is the only way forward

A speech in the House of Lords, by Lord Alastair Black, and met with much support amongst the nobles

“…Those who oppose a Navy do not understand the necessities of defence. As much as we would all like to line our own pocket book, the preservation of Albion must come first. This, the Order does not seem fit to accept. If the Order is unwilling to accept its duties to defend our fair isles, then it has no place in Albion, and a grand Navy should rise to take its place.”

The One True Wrackham

An ornate and well-illustrated pamphlet popular across Albion that tells the sad, yet heroic story of Sir Joshua Wrackham

None more heroic than heroic Sir Joshua, for he ever had the interests of Albion in mind! On daring expedition to the darkest and Most Mysterious lands of the East he shunned glory for himself but ever rushed to the assistance of others. The pirates of the Barbary Coast feared him, and left him unassailed as he passed through the mediterranean unharmed and led the expedition past the strange coasts of India. There, not minding the protection of the land itself he disappeared into the interior, led by nothing but the strength of his will and spoke at length to the Murghal Emperor himself.

So impressed by the passions of this man of Albion, and remembering the ancient friendship of their lands, the Emperor furnished the expedition with all that was required so that they might reach the Isle of Spice in safety.

Beset upon by storms and sea-monsters, one ship, that of Sir Joshua was separated from the rest and came to an isle both wondrous and terrible where men wore strange garb and talked with their bellies. Negotiating with skill and great accumen Sir Joshua could persuade the natives who, though far from civilisation, felt compelled to understand so brilliant a man. And taking him as some sort of Ancient god returned, proceeded to eat him with all due respect solemnity.

Even in death, Sir Joshua had provided for our safety, knowing at least that we might be treated well and could re-unite with the rest of the fleet. Though the natives presented us with rafts and food, but I alone survived and came to a place of the Indies which held both Spice and fleet. So with a tear I will recount the tale of the most brave and daring Sir Joshua Wrackham, who was early taken by our Lord, in detail….

Nearer - The Publication Closest To Your Heart

Extracts from Nearer, a gossip pamphlet covering the ups and downs of members of the court.

“…such terrible news. The staff here at Nearer send their condolances to the family of Sir Joshua Wrackham. Eaten alive…”

”… we've heard the dashing Devereux, our own exciting Earl of Hereford, has been busy with the hunt. Nearer can reveal that the man can sure ride a horse and hunt a stag…! - but that's not all for the dashing military man; he apparently joined that Horticultural expedition to the Americans, slew a dragon single-handed, and of course everyone knows he was with the men that recovered Prince William… all that and a bachelor too!”

“We don't often talk of academics, but the students do know how to party, especially in the Boat Race season. And what was Edward Marshall doing entertaining Princess Mary, looking fine in her new French dress, so closely during the contest?”

“The Baron of Eynsford, Haroun ibn Rasheed - he's been out and about with all the right people this season, hasn't he? Though I shouldn't say he'll need to do that for much longer - since all the right people seem to be going to him! Oh, and you'll never guess who was seen at the Midnight Rose last week…”

“We're told that several Court physicians have taken quite an uncommon interest in the health of Lord O'Farrel's wife. I suppose she does deserve some support, the poor girl - married to a Fenian…”

“What do those Jews do all day, locked up in their rooms like that? It seems they only ever come out to go to the theatre!”

“Lord John Wyndham? Tipped for a better Peerage, so I hear, after his efforts coordinating the search for the Princes. That's almost a shame, it would take him out of the House of Commons…”


“I say, that Brandage chap - he's been spending an awful lot of time at the New Rose recently. You'd think someone on his income wouldn't have the time for such luxuries as the theatre. And always the same place, too… d'you suppose he's got his eye on someone in the cast?”

“Weaver? Is she a seamstress or is that just the cinnamon talking?”

“Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live Jones? Jesuit. Didn't you hear? Takes his orders from secret masters in Rome. That whole Puritan thing is a put-on. He takes secret mass at the Spanish embassy once a week and spits upon pictures of the King!”

“The Steel-Clad Soldier cometh to Oxford.”

“In Oriente hortus est.”

“The Vatican has dispatched its most dangerous Jesuit agents yet, one must be coming to Albion to kill the King. I am sure of it. What else could they be doing?”

“God's wounds! Is that the monstrous corpse of the undead Clockwork King?!” “No, it's my wife. Have that, you bastard!”

“Lord Owain, Earl Pembroke, is a perfect gentleman.”

“I hear there's a secret cabal of diabolists at the heart of the Invisible College. They seek to summon Lucifer himself and drown Oxford in a sea of hell-fire!”

“That Witch Jones - he's been spending an awful lot of time preaching in Inverlochy. I hear he has the populace stirred up to a zealous fervour, all hot for morality and purity and the like - they've banned street theatre, all the women are wearing headscarves and there are even rumours of sedition…”

“The Thirty-Six are rising.”

“Heri id feci, dormiens. Videtur ut phlogiston uti. Summopere instabilis. Vectem addidi. Certe. Id praemere volo - at nescio quod eveniet si id faciam…”

“Gwendolyn de Vries got knifed in some brawl in Portugal.”

“Brother Chalk was seen acting very strangely in the streets of Oxford this last season. I swear I saw him shouting at a lettuce-seller in the marketplace; he seemed quite furious - and I can't be quite certain, but he seemed to be shouting in Arabic…”

“I'm glad we're friends with the Portugese, they are so very helpful and friendly. One Gentleman rescued my cat from the tree the other day - and I've seen the Spanish Ambassador skin the poor things!”

“Roman Centurion? In my College? It's more likely than you think.”

“What does Philip Silva want with so many bodies?”

“Princess Mary is besotted with some Earl. Just glad it's not me, though I suppose if you got a witch to remove your ears it wouldn't be so bad.”

“Princess Mary was visited by an angel. No, not a virgin birth expected or anything like that, more a lecture in frivolity and why it's not good.”

“Lady Morag and Prince Richard seemed to be getting along awfully well. Isn't she married?”

“Just what is in Norway? And why are they bringing back a cage-full of it?”

“Someone's on the look-out for Franzbergs! HIDE YOUR CHILDREN”

“What happened to the King!?”

“What've the French gone and lost this time?”

news/2.2.txt · Last modified: 2007/10/23 16:06 by helen