News in England is distributed by a wide variety of ways. These include notices pasted on the boards of Churches and Taverns and notes sent around the courtiers by the messengers of the nobility and gentry. The most popular distribution however is from the pulpit and the press - the priests and preachers of all churches pass news onto their congregations in town and countryside while many write and publish pamphlets they distribute far and wide. Here follows a collection of the most interesting and important news.

Extracts from Nearer, a gossip pamphlet covering the ups and downs of members of the court.

“…source in Oxford has revealed exclusively to Nearer that Queen Anne has come down with the pox, following a liason with a Cardinal. Indeed, our source tells us she would rather sleep with a maddened bull than her husband!”

“…seen spending a lot of time with Prince Richard. Does Morag Douglas have her eyes set on the future heir? Nearer readers will find out first…”

“…Nearer has learnt that a certain foreign prince attending court has been seen spending rather a lot of time in the company of boys…”

“…like to wish David Brandage all the best for his upcoming exams…”

“…Galgenvogel's dragon unwell again. We do hope it isn't contageous…”

“…plays have been even better than usual since Reginald started working there. We at Nearer do hope the New Rose keeps hold of Sir Grover…”

”…the Baron of Eynesford surely jockeying for a new title, for having bought up almost all the traitor Hooke's forfeited lands on Invictus - making him de facto land owner of nearly the entire island - one has to wonder when precisely he will be declared Earl…”

Notes distributed in pamphlets which find themselves of particular interest to those in the business of collecting recusancy fines, a profitable industry in recent years.

”…and across the land, it seems that several of our more recalcitrant Draconic and Serpentine cousins have taken to regularly attending Shul, with the assistance of various travelling Rabbis in their local area. This comes as a welcome relief to many in Jewish and Christian clergy alike, who are frankly happier that the creatures are attending any Church, regardless of denomination, and therefore no longer quite such a delicate affair for the fine-collectors…”

From a speach by a Scottish rabbi

“The Christians have failed to convert us to Anglicanism, and they cannot stand it! Look how they daub their doors with blood, and burn our houses down. But will we run? No! Will we be afraid? No! They may allude to the Passover, but they do not understand what it is to be Jewish, and that threats of violence will not sway us!”

A note on the door to a nearby church, after the attacks on Scottish Jews

Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, and against the man that is my fellow, saith the LORD of hosts:
Smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered: and I will turn mine hand upon the little ones.
And it shall come to pass, that in all the land, saith the LORD, two parts therein shall be cut off and die,
But the third shall be left therein. And I will bring the third part through the fire,
And will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried:
They shall call on my name, and I will hear them:
I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;
Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it,
Because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved;
Yet so as by fire.

The fire of the LORD cometh.

A pamphlet following Henry Lockett around Scotland, seen in small numbers

What heed should the Devout pay to any King counselled by Christ-killers but deaf to the burning Truth of Scripture? The Devil has taken his seat among the Lords of the Land, and from that seat will whisper blasphemy most foul in the King's ear. Will Lockett's bishops gainsay him? No more than Lockett did, for it was he who opened the door and bid the Fiend enter. Gather ye now in the kirks and presbyteries, for the King has summoned to him a Parliament. Send to him the voice of a Christian people, defiant in the face of deviltry, and sworn before God Almighty to die afore any law shall pass in contradiction of the Holy Word.

A considerably more popular pamphlet seen throughout Albion

All praise to Henry Lockett! His Grace has prevented war in Scotland! He has taught the Jews and the Puritans to love one another again! His bible readings have been fantastic at placating the Puritans, and despite being Christian, he shows no fear of the Synagogue and showing the Jews how to mediate with Puritans.

All praise Henry Lockett! May God bless his soul!

From a scientific circular for those interested in magics and religion.

Professor the Lord Quinn Algonon Bertrand Smith’s latest Paper, ‘God, The Mechanic Of The Heavens’ (subtitled ‘Omnipotence needs no Crystal’) has caused huge Uproar throughout Europe’s scientific and religious Communities. Quinn’s first-hand Observations that there are no Crystal Sphere, proving the Copernican system a True model of the Heavens and the Ptolemaic system truly resigned to History.

Professor Smith himself points out that the Heliocentric View is not an attack on God Himself; indeed, Man is a maker of Machines, and being made in God’s Image surely He must be capable of far greater Machines than we poor flawed Men? Were we not given Minds to Think with? Surely our Lord would not equip us so were we not Meant to Use them? Surely God has created the world according to an intelligible plan that is accessible through the natural light of reason.

However, those Small-minded Cretins of Padua claim that this must be Lies. As the Professor says, such worthies as Captain Dick Smashing and the Professor surely have no reason to Lie? But no matter, the Catholic countries are furious. In their Backwards way, they call Professor Smith a Heretic; indeed, the Pope Himself has declared him Heathen and Hideous. Who would have thought a simple Academic Paper could have such Political Ramifications? No matter, Religious Figures argue throughout Europe, and sentiment against Albion rises further.

But no matter, we will Stick with the Professor and his Modern and Scientific view of the Heavens. The Copernican model is a good, sensible, English model, free from Papist claptrap, bad science and flawed theory.

From a pamphlet about interesting developments in Magic and Astrology

The new Pembroke Orrery has been shown to a few select individuals, but rumours have leaked out. Sponsored by the Earl of Pembroke and sited not far from his College, the Orrery seems set to usher in a New Age of Astrology! Hitherto unknown accuracy in the positioning of planets past and future, along with other extra mechanisms to assist the drawing of horoscopes. And the rumours say that the planets are modeled not by metal spheres as is traditional, but by illusions!

This seems to be the turning of the tide in the fortunes of Pembroke College, which had seemed almost cursed until now.

From a Scottish gossip column.

One of the most eligible women in Scotland has been snapped up, by none other than the eldest son of the Earl of Pembroke! William Herbert has been courting young Shonagh for over a year now, and the two of them seem very much in love despite the shrewd politics of their fathers! Despite some difficulties when Shonagh was kidnapped by Scottish border reivers and rumours of a dalliance with Captain Dick Smashing, the couple are looking forward to their life together.

The date of the wedding is still to be decided by Edinburgh and Pembroke, but is likely to be within the year. Keep reading regularly for more information as we find it!

An extract from “The Dragon”, a popular military pamphlet published in Dunkerque.

So the King takes us to war against Venice! It now appears conclusive, thanks to the Information our writers have been able to gather, that it was the Venitians indeed who undertook to Kidnap the King's sons. They had Intended to perform Vile Papish sorceries upon them and thus strike at Honourable Albion. “The Dragon” support our liege and monarch King Matthew in his decision and wishes that war may be Conducted Swiftly and professionally by Albion's great armies.

We hear with delight that the Pope has once again called upon Catholics to rise in war against Fair Albion. It amuses “The Dragon” to learn that not even His Most 'Catholic' Majesty, the King of Spain Philip the Fourth, has heeded the Roman Command. His 'Catholic' Majesty is too busy burning his own Subjects to deal with matters as Albion heretics…

Various academic pamphlets printed and distributed by the Oxford Colleges - here follows a typical extract -

… and wage war against Venice, that most Inspired and True seat of Learning. Is not Venice truly a Centre of the New Age and verily at the forefront of our Understanding of the Natural Sciences? How can we countenance the Destruction, nay, Dessecration, of such a haven. The King is much misguided.

From the pulpit of a church on the island of de Vries

And lift up you hearts in prayer for the noble Prince Richard soon to be invested with the noble title of Prince of Wales. With the death of his harlot sister, seduced by Papist lies and unholy sorceries and her own foul faithlessnees, this good and honest man will stand by his father's right hand. Upon his brow shall be set a coronet and he shall stand proud and tall in his ermine and remind us that God favours these Christian isles with a fearless defender and peerless wisdom.

Lift up your hearts and pray that he shall prove as steadfast a defender of the Church of these Islands as his father the King has always been. Pray for those in Parliament that they shall undo the harm that their predecessors have wrought upon it.

The investiture ceremony will be held in the next few months.

A number of new Members of Parliament have been returned in the recent election. Notable amongst them are:

• The Baron Wyndham has been safely elected by almost popular acclimation in his constituency of Wyndham.
• The Right Honourable the Lady Elizabeth Weaver has been elected with a thumping majority in the constituency of Goscote. Many MPs have already noted her as a potential rising star of the new parliament and a number of aspiring elected gentlemen and ladies have called upon her townhouse already.
• Sir Randolph Blenham now represents the constituency of Wuthering Island East. He campaigned under the slogan of a “Modern Man for Modern Albion” and has inspired a small coterie of his fellow MPs taken with possibility of progress in the technological and magical arts.
• Dame Katherine Chandler has been returned by the voters of the constituency of Old Sarum after the death of their beloved former representative. Her share of the vote was low for Old Sarum - 4 voters are known to have voted for other candidates, representing almost a quarter of the electorate.
• Baron Wilson Mandrake is the new representative of the constituency of Brighton and Hove. He is rumoured to have enjoyed considerable support from the Earl of Pembroke. Thankfully the Earl's rather disastrous incident with a (dead) giant octopus while attending the hustings of another candidate does not seem to have damaged the Baron's campaign. The Earl of Pembroke, though as a Lord Temporal not eligible for election himself, has leant his favour to a number of candidates who have been.
• The most startling candidate to sit in the newly summoned Commons must be the Puritan Though-Shalt-Not-Suffer-a-Witch-to-Live Jones. Elected on a platform emphasising the national pride of Scotland and the perfidy of England and its wretched almost Papist national Church, Witch Jones seems to be at the forefront of a new populist and anti-English mood sweeping Scotland.

The representatives of the Kingdom of Navarre seem much reduced in Parliament. Rumour has it that many have failed to even journey to Oxford this year.

A number of Bills are ready to be presented in the next sitting of the Houses; they are well known since several MPs have loudly proclaimed their support or opposition to the Bills during the recent election:

1. A Bill is to be proposed to the House which shall require that the King see to the adequate funding of His new Royal Navy by contributing monies from His own purse as great as those confiscated from the traitor Jack Hooke
2. A Bill to remove all who Profess the Bishop of Rome their Master from the Royal Succession
   
   “Whereas it is well known and clear that it is inconsistent with the safety and welfare of this Protestant kingdom to be governed by a popish prince, or by any king or queen marrying a papist, the said Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons do further pray that it may be enacted, that all and every person and persons that is, are or shall be reconciled to or shall hold communion with the see or Church of Rome, or shall profess the popish religion, or shall marry a papist, shall be excluded and be for ever incapable to inherit, possess or enjoy the crown and government of this realm and Ireland and the dominions thereunto belonging or any part of the same, or to have, use or exercise any regal power, authority or jurisdiction within the same; and in all and every such case or cases the people of these realms shall be and are hereby absolved of their allegiance; and the said crown and government shall from time to time descend to and be enjoyed by such person or persons being Protestants as should have inherited and enjoyed the same in case the said person or persons so reconciled, holding communion or professing or marrying as aforesaid were naturally dead.”
   
   A number of rival amendments banning Jews specifically, or those who are not good Anglicans generally, have also been proposed.
3. A Bill proposing that only those Sorcerers professing the Christian faith or under the supervision of one known to be Sound in Doctrine and Beyond the Temptations of Demons may Legally Deal with the Infernal Realms
4. A Bill proposing to Confiscate the Estates and Chattels of the late traitor Edward Marshal and divide the Monies so Raised between the Army and Navy of Albion for the Defence of the Realm

An extract from The Stars, a popular pamphlet amongst astrologers, and those interested in the art

We must offer our warmest congratulations to Eliza Gamut. Despite being a mere undergraduate, the protege of the Earl of Coventry has been appointed Royal Astrologer to King Matthew and the Royal Court. A great honour for a worthy recipient.

We do hope, of course, that Mistress Gamut's new duties do not interfere with her academic work…

From an Albio-French pamphlet, “A Frank Exchange”, published in both languages in Calais and Paris

And once again all Christendom is shook with Terror and Opression as the slaves of Satan busy themselves with war on the most Holy. Now three Bishops of the Most Holy Church of Rome are counted dead on this Earth within but foure months and all France affected. How can one not be concerned when even the Best and Trusted men ar not free from such agression and are the butts for the archery Hell. Much is said of the Archers, for no other country than Albion has produced so many of the fiends. France holds a peace of Catholics, Protestants and Anglicans when Albion has failed to do so and so it must be that Albion chooses to promote its misguided views.

There are many agents of that land and they do strike at the very foundations of our Kingdom.

As heard in many taverns and Churches across the countryside

… the criminals now more commiting arson with VIOLENT FORCE. Indeed it is the WITCHES and HELL-BENT sorcerers ranging through the land that cause our BELOVED Albion to wither and perish. The woods are BURNED as if with HELLISH FIRE and stag is roasted in its SLEEP and so suffer the PEOPLE.

Where forests once COVERED the islands of this Archipelago SCORCHED EARTH now lies - CORRUPTED, TWISTED and DEFILED. The EVIL of its cause corrupts men's minds and PROVOKES more burning of the land's LIFE. Lest ALL our children and CATTLE are swallowed BY THE GEHENNA whole we must SAVE our land.

The speeches continue in such tones noting the local spots where woods have been burn down.

Extracts from the latest issue of “The Oxford Idler”, a popular pamphlet which mostly devotes itself to reviews of the literary world.

”…the greatest news this season being of course the introduction of the Baron of Malborough, Lord Reginald Grover, as the Conjurer Extraordinary at the New Rose. His first season has been spectacular, with illusions, clouds of smoke and showers of light of the finest quality turning the Rose's latest run from noteworthy to delightful…”

”…Perhaps informed by Dame Chandler's bold move to commission a play to honour Prince Richard's twentieth birthday, the New Rose has itself delved into, and dusted off, many of the old history scripts; a variety of battles and great Court scenes appearing upon the stage, all with a distinctly Royalist and traditionalist flavour - one might wonder whether the Proprietor wishes to make some comment on Albion's recent trials within the Family, as gaily-clad armies in red and black clash and wheel upon the stage, each performance ending with the triumph of the Ancien Regime and the execution of a usurper…”

”…indeed many of the poets of the town seem to have been lured into the Midnight Rose's contest, proving the Baron of Eynesford a true patron of the Arts. Though speculation continues rife as to who, precisely, the 'Lady of the Household' to whom all the contest's poems are directed might be; is the Baron himself not unmarried…?”

From the a pamphlet describing strange and unusual happenings around Oxford recently.

… a rooftop chase! Two men being chased across the rooftops of Oxford, chased by a black-clad figure. I saw them, leaping from roof to roof, dodging chimney pots, trying to escape from their relentless pursuer. But no, it could not be - he was light of foot and lightning fast. One man was cut down in dramatic swordfight on the roof of Christchurch College, and the other was chased along the top of the building until - shock! He slipped and fell down, lying dazed across the roof.

But just as his assailant was about to strike, a stroke of fortune for the unfortunate fellow athwart the roof - a sudden slip, the sword heading for his head glances to the side as the swine falls through the roof of Christchurch College! It seems Alexander Nathaniel is a lucky man. But why on earth is somebody out to kill him?

“The Guild of Navigators expresses its sincere condolences to the Cathayan Embassy on the loss of Honoured Ambassador Lao Jungfei, who passed away while boating with her clerk off the shores of De Vries isle this month. It is believed that a private funeral in the Cathayan style will be held soon, and…”

Among the annual rule revisions which follow each Oxford Boat-Race

”…Following agreement from the Committee, and sponsorship from the Earl of Pembroke and Lord Christian de Winter, the Master of the Invisible College, it has been agreed and recommended that the course for the next year's Boat-Race will be an annular one, progressing around the circumference of the Island of Oxford for several revolutions or “laps”, starting and finishing at the Royal Docks. This measure to be implemented forthwith, with appropriate…”

Though the Southern Colonies are Lit by a Newe Sun, it Shineth not with the warmth of the Light we are accustomed to, but with a Heartless Glow. Hoar Frost kills what Crops can be planted, and the ground is Hard as Irone.

From the South of America Glaciers have been seen advancing, with Daemonic Creatures of Ice at their Heads, Leading them on. Their Hounds race ahead, Tearing at the Menne who would venture far from the Cities.

From “The Rake of Fashion”, a small pamphlet updated weekly, and sold in the more exclusive tailors and dressmakers.

It was from the Continent that the most captivating of recent fashion innovations appears to have sprung; even the Rake can not say which lord or lady of France it was that first realised the delightful and playful colours of the ocelot would set every heart afire with desire. We can say with certainty that it was the gorgeous Lady Hamilton who first launched the new trend like a shot from one of her own naval cannons into the scene of Oxford. Cut in a military line which has taken albion by storm, the fashion world surrendered at once to the Admiral's dashing figure. No everyone who is anyone, and those who would like to aspire to being someone, dare not appear in public without an ocelot fur around their neck or an example of the taxidermists art to stroke upon the forearm.

Some of the pamphlets around town have been defaced with the words “Save the Ocelot”

The whore Queen Anne of France has paid for her crimes, struck down by the wrath of God for her dalliances with the Cardinal and holding to the Catholic Faith. Though her Physicians denied that the Queen was Struck Down, she Wasted away from the Foul Dis-eases contracted from her Liasons with creatures Moste Foul and Sorcerous. Indeed the vicious Stain on her Soule from her meetings with the Devil's Bull must have caused a Distortion of the Humours so Disruptive that None would admit this.

Who is to Rule this Forsaken Nation? It is surely our Duty to see that Queen Joanne bring to them the Light of the Anglican Faith, and no False Prophets rise to turn the French against Us, bringing War to our shores again.

There are a number of rumours circulating about the fate of Princess Mary and Edward Marshall.

With the warrant of execution having been served, the Traitor Marshal was returned to Albion, and the Sentence carried out in the Town Square of Banbury-under-Wold.

Not Content with the Kidnappe of our Fair Princess once the Jesuits learned that Rescue was close at Hand they murdered her Most Foully, Forever Condemning her to Burn in the Fires of Hell.

…attempting to Flee, the Traitor Marshal thrust the Princess he claimed to love in front of the Swordes of the Forces of Albion, where she was Slain, even as she looked upon Marshal with an Expression of Dismay….

Not content to Die at the hands of her former countrymen, the Princess launched herself from the Boat, swimming with an Unearthly Strength, and Great Clawed Hands rose up from the Deepe to Pull her Down. Surelie this is a Signe of Daemonic Pacts that the Princess has been Engaging in, Corrupting the Loyal Sonne of Albion Edward Marshal.

…With Jesuits agents taking their faces to draw off pursuit, the couple fled to the Americas…

A report quickly circulated around Oxford a week or two before court. There have been attempts to confine this to the most important men and women of the land but news will inevitably reach the whole country soon.

… so with little notice we saw Queen Joanne depart from the Palaces and head south. It is most troubling for she is heavy with child and against advice has now travelled abroad. No reason or force could have been brought to bear to stop her, for her personal agents and Trusted men and women had prepared a most ingenious cherade.

Now we have ascertained that the Queen of Albion has travelled to the French Rennes, an ancestral holding both of the Kings of England and of French Kings and the Dukes of Brittany before. There she has gathered all manner of Nobles of the land, magnates, landowners and liege-lords and has held a Council following which she was Proclaimed the rightful Heir to King Louis XIV of France and styled herself Queen Joanne I of France, and yet still styled the Queen of Albion.

This has thrown the Kingdom into turmoil, for it was more hoped that the reign of the Dauphin might begin with his reaching of Age. For as the Regent, Cardinal Mazarin would hold the reigns of government he so promised to hold for King Louis. Yet Queen Joanne has support and a rightful claim as the older child of Louis and nobody is sure of the Succession. Nothing is certain of course as the Dauphin and Cardinal will no doubt have significant support and there may yet be debate and even war, something I am sure we are all anxious to avoid.

One cannot express of course what manner of Upset this might cause in Albion for its timing is most unfortunate, indeed Queen Joanne being pregnant with King Matthew's child…

Extracts from “John Company”, a circular pamphlet detailing recent dealings in the Merchant Companies.

”…indeed, it seems that MISC has risen quite out of obscurity with its recent sourcing of trade routes and supply lines for cinnamon supply. Precisely how the recently-incorporated Cartel has so greatly reduced overheads as to undercut all other supplies is a mystery, and there are some rumours of a new, efficient form of magic used to speed the supply ships to the East and back again…”

(some months later)

”…various shareholders' decision to sell stocks in the Cartel has caused some heavy market fluctuations, but many seem confident that the recent 'boom' will not dramatically affect other markets. Indeed, many of our best prognosticators anticipate cinnamon returning to a stable, if high, price within the year…”

“Winter is coming.”

“Marshal and the Princess are on their way to the Americas.”

“If ever I 'list for a soldier again
The Devil shall be me sergeant.”

“Earthworms? On MY island? It's more likely than you think!”

“Do you remember that charlatan who sold me the potion to cure my 'rash'. Well, he came around again the other day, apologised, said something about a faulty batch and gave me a free replacement! Took it at midnight, like he said and by morning, I was feeling great, didn't even have a hangover from the previous night. I'll definitely go and see de Winter again next time, even said he could get me one of those 'stamina' potions, if you know what I mean, for next time I see Lady Joshephine.”

“Marshal and the Princess are on their way to the Vatican.”

“The War will not end until all Monarchs are vanquished.”

“Puritans, unite! The Corinthian Order is awakening.”

“What d'you mean, the League of Magical and Mechanical insight is being run by the Rosicrucian order? Surely not!”

“Marshal and the Princess are on their way to Cathay.”

“Nicholas de Grey has eloped with Prince Richard!”

“Yeah, I used to be a Baron in Navarre. Then some bastard found some legal loophole and bought my lands out from under me! Seem to be a lot of us being forced out these days.”

“Marshal and the Princess are getting married, and they want to invite Prince Richard!”

“About bloody time Weaver got married, isn't it? She's one of the most eligible ladies at court.”

“Only death follows in the footsteps of the Sword.”

“Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie.”

“Y'see, the reason Puritans are like they are, is 'cos it's so cold up there in Scotland. Can't get it up, y'see. So they wanna spoil everyone else's fun too. Bastards.”

“The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown
The lion beat the unicorn all around the town.”

“You know those attacks on Alexander Nathaniel? I heard some guys down the pub talking, seems he faked the whole thing to gain credit. You reckon he's a Jesuit too?”

“How much money have those bloody Jews got? I heard they're planning to buy the Vatican out from under the Pope's nose!”

“Baron Wyndham, Privy Councillor and Member of the King's Parliament is a Papist agent. He has the ear of the Pope himself and is driving Albion to ruin.”

“The League of Magical and Mechanical insight is very popular - Inventors and Tinkerers are clamouring to join!”

“By'r Lakin! Be that the Macabre cadaver of the undead Franzberg Sovereign!?”

“Leeds Cathedral is haunted! There's demonic cackling during the sermons, the Verger's got leprosy.. What next?”

“Blessed are the piemakers, for they shall make light pastry.”

“Hah! You think those Rosicrucians are good for anything? The only Jesuits they've found recently had already up and fled the country. Why don't they try cleaning them out of our own country instead?”

“Gunpowder being created by the Ottomans? Are you sure about that? Time to be buying stocks in the EIC, I think.”

“I hear that Italian, Medici, is after people's souls. I'd not have thought him a Diabolist..”

“μων τουτο κατα καιρον έστι;”

“No, I swear, I was in the Forest of Dean.. I saw a Bloodrabbit hole!”
“Aren't they all dead? Anyway, how'd you tell the difference from a normal rabbit hole?”
“Normal rabbit holes don't have trails of blood coming out of them..”

“So, Lord Stafford comes back from the Americas and then the Colonies all packing up and leaving. Coincidence?”

“Did you see that Dragon flying west, towards the Americas?”

“Power is Truth. Trust in MISC.”

“Captain Swal does not payroll Hell.”

“You know, I hear there're a lot more people getting private Italian tuition in Oxford. It's turning into quite a fashion!”

“Padre Jose-Maria is most generous, he gives alms to the poor and acts as a True Christian though he be a Papish heretic.”

“Musical Vegetables? What on earth are you on about?”

“Cinnamon extends life. Cinnamon expands conciousness. Cinnamon is vital to river travel.”

“Quetzcoatl? Is that like the Pox, then? Bloody chirurgeons, trying to make it all complicated.”