News: Turn 3 (March-October 1643)

Overheard in a tavern in The Meadows.

“No, I swear, I was there, I saw it.”
“Go on then, what happened?”
“Well, it's halfway through a production of Sansenoy - and that was good, let me tell you, powerful stuff, the girl playing Whatshisface, the angel, she's really–”
“Get on with it!”
“All right, all right. Anyway, we're halfway through this big speech about freedom and the nature of art when this big feller, looked a bit German, seven feet if he was an inch, dirty great scar across his face - right brute of a bloke - storms into the penny gallery, right?”
“And then what?”
“Well, he starts shouting, all different languages - bloody hurt the ears to listen to, some of them! - but you can make out a few English words, and he's saying 'Pick a side, pick a side, you have to choose a side'. And the actors are doing their best to carry on but he's shouting in this voice like the Devil hissen–”
“Wash your mouth out with soap, Rory Cooper!”
“Sorry Mary - anyway, he's shouting and he's shouting, and the Gentleman in the penny gallery, you know the one I mean, is just sitting there like there's nothing happening, not even looking around to see this dirty great German bloke shouting practically in his ear'ole– and then– Pop!”
“Whatd'yer bloody mean, 'Pop'?”
“I mean, 'Pop!'. 'Poof'! He vanished! Just like that! The Gentleman just snapped his fingers, and the big German goes, poof! Thin air! As if he'd never been there! And the next thing you know the Gentleman is standing up and he's looking at the actors with this look, like he'll freeze their hearts, and he's saying 'The show must go on', and they're starting the speech again, only that's the bit where her 'usband comes in and starts talking about–”
“Yes, yes, we've all seen it. But what about this German fellow?”
“Well, nobody's seen him since, like, but our Peggy's youngest is sweet on a lad who works round the back of the Rose and he says that the room where they keep the props has been full of tiny little lizards ever since, they keep killing 'em but there's always more, they're talking about getting a cat in…”

Extracted from a treatise on “Diabolic-Mortal Relations: A Comprehensive and Useful Study”, an exceptionally theoretical academic work which mostly deals with variations in the type and number of cantrips used by Sorcerers and Priests to guard themselves against Infernal influence. Tucked in amongst the dull theory is this gem:

”…though, of course, there are those among Mortal Men, who - whether by great practice at confounding the Infernal forces through means Magickal, or by dint of their own excess of Holiness - may resist Daemonic temptations, and may even be said to induce Fear in the Forces of Darkness. For a recent example, see the Bishop of Leeds, His Grace Henry Lockett, who is reputedly so feared in Malebolge that the force of his voice alone is enough to duplicate the effect of a Sorcerous banishment…”

Extracts from a sermon given by Father Anthony Sutcliffe of Thorngrove, and widely distributed in cheap pamphlet form, following the announcement of the successful exorcism of the parish of Writhing with assistance from Father Anthony.

”…the care of one's Fellow Man not merely a Virtue, not merely an Enhancement of one's Standing in the eyes of God and Country, but a very Requirement for the Christian soul. For without Charity, we are as the base beast of the Field; and it is in holy Charity that we can imitate the very Christ himself…

…in these dire Times, it is more than ever Necessary that those with the ability to aid the Needy and the Weak must step forward, must offer their Resources and their Abilities as a Sacrifice, for the good of Albion and Christendom…

…and to the pitiless and insensate Nobles of the land who, like the idiot Slave or Barbarian, hoard their riches and spend their time at Leisure, at Academick pursuits and in the Pleasures of the Flesh, not deigning to protect those who labour tireless hours to serve them, even from the forces of Hell Itself, when they could but stretch out a finger to ensure the safety of the Common Man of Writhing - why, these are little better than the brutes of the Continent, who barter away the lives of their Fellow-Man for blood-tainted coin…”

But one of many anonymous pamphlets circulating the country in the early weeks of the season.

”…indeed, this supposed 'Thief-Hunt' that the Harrington creature proposes, is no more than rank Fakery to disguise her own diabolic Blasphemies. For who but Harrington might have had access to the sacred Tabernacle of Canterbury Cathedral before the Sword of the Archangel disappeared? It is Clear to all Right-Thinking Men and Women that Harrington has sacrificed the Archangel Uriel to THE DEVIL HIMSELF, and has become his Infernal Apprentice, performing Lewd Practice and Most Unholy Congress with the Hosts of Hell…”

Extracts from various sequential issues of “The Oxford Idler”, a popular pamphlet which mostly devotes itself to reviews of the literary world.

”…production of Sansenoy has fallen - somewhat unsurprisingly, given the current climate, and the other Companies' fixation with trotting out the same worn-out Histories they always produce when Albion sends her eager sons to war - to the New Rose. Lysette Cooper is to play the heroine, and the role of the Angel himself - not usually a breeches part - to be taken by Caterina Demarke, whom regular theatregoers will no doubt remember for her sterling run as Faustus in last year's Delightful Comedy of the Sorcerer of Wittenburg…”

”…opening night of Sansenoy breathtaking, as expected. Your humble correspondent will note that he observed several members of the Theurgy Faculties of both Oxford University and the Invisible College in the audience, apparently taking notes - decoding the 'secret poem' in the text has become something of a pastime for undergraduates seeing a performance for the first time. Demarke's debut as Sansenoy is striking, and your humble correspondent believes that we will see her play Romeo before the year is out…”

”…further run of Sansenoy marred only by one black spot upon the beautiful face of the play; the frequent disturbances outside the New Rose, caused by crowds gathering that irritating mendicant preacher, “Witch” Jones. Such phrases as 'Living blasphemy', 'wanton harlot', 'temptation from the path of virtue' frequently interrupt the most sterling and beautiful moments of the play, and the unlettered dolt has clearly found more of his kind to support his outrageous claims that the play is unholy, as quite a mass of Oxford commoners not civilised enough to afford entrance to the theatre can be seen gathering around him night after night, interrupting the progress of the finer gentlemen into the theatre…”

”…Jones' harrassment continues, and your humble correspondent hopes that you will forgive his ire if he takes a moment here to indicate that this Puritan firebrand has quite misunderstood the substance of the play, no matter how pretty his speeches may be. It is a tragedy, and when Jones rouses up the crowds with his demagoguery, claiming that the play celebrates the triumph of the Evil Forces through the seduction and fall of a holy angel by the lustful temptress-heroine, it must be understood that he is not only ill-mannered but also incorrect…”

”…although none of the New Rose's Company have deigned to give comment, your humble correspondent cannot but add his own hopeful speculation to the rumours that the Gentleman Patron of the New Rose was heard to mutter, during the interval one evening, 'He thinks this is blasphemous? Has anyone got a copy of the script for “Infernal Glory”?'. We await further developments with interest…”

Many have been driven away from the New Rose's production of Sansenoy by the crowds gathering to listen to Thou-Shalt-Not-Suffer-A-Witch-To-Live Jones preaching hellfire and damnation concerning the play. Already controversial, the substance of the play is now being debated in synagogues and churches across the land, and there is even a suggestion of a motion in Parliament to ban it as blasphemous.

From a pamphlet written by supporters of the Bishop of Carlisle.

Woe is our Country, for the Bishop of Carlisle has been Murdered most Foully! The Good Bishope was Kidnapped from Her oun Cathedral, Smuggl'd by Unknewn Means to France and torn to Pieces by the Common folk! Tak'n from us, when Soone to have become Archbishop of Edinburgh! What foul play is Afoote, what has Becom of our Country when the best of us can be Taken with nary Clue nor Sign!

Woude not the Bishope of Leeds be suspect'd? Who else had Reason and Motive for this Crime? Surely he will now Unopposed become Archbishop of Edinburg? But there is More! For our Lady Bishop had but Recenntly paid off the Debts of Lord Reginald Grover! Is he involved with Leeds and his Nefariose Scheeme, or was he Tipped Offe that this was a good time to take Advantage? Fear not, We will not rest until the Murd'r'r is Brought to Justise!

From The Rake of Fashion, a regular pamphlet found at the best tailors and dressmakers in Oxford

And all are aghast at Lady Hamilton's recent fashion disaster. Our extensive agents within the world of fashion had predicted with confidence that that good lady would appear at the Princess Royal's birthday party in the guise of Queen Elizabeth I at Tilsbury. Resplendent in steel armour, gilded and baroqued in the finest style, it would have ushered in a new season of military formality and dress jackets. Certainly the Lady Luton gambled so and won. Appearing beside the Princess Mary in a passable imitation of a Dragoon dress uniform cut to emphasise the female physique a touch more than any parade ground would allow, she received the admiration of all including the Princess Royal.

And Lady Hamilton? She appeared in a disgusting farrago of pink chiffon and lace, cynched so tight she passed out in the middle of a dance. It was like a return to the fashion disasters of thirty years ago, a nightmarish fad we had hoped never to see again. The Rake says poor show Viscountess Hexham and thank goodness only a few of your most slavish followers experimented with the ghastly look.

A short pamphlet entitled “All Westminster's Men”, distributed around Oxford and some major towns

War! War against all Catholic Europe! War for the Survival of Albion and our most Perfect Protestant Faith! Surely Parliament is Alive with debate? Surely the greatest statesmen of Albion bend their minds tirelessly to the Prosecution of this great Conflict and the eventual Triumph of King Matthew's Armies. Surely so?

Surely NOT! The Time Wasters of the Teahouse Parliament are more concerned with the Endless debate over the founding of a new Navy, though not so concerned that their Useless Jawing should be interrupted by a Vote on the matter. And in those gaps in their busy schedule of playing Admiral of an Imaginary fleet the Windbag Wyndham spouts his mealy-mouthed schemes to purchase a distant Island from Moorish Corsairs too poor to Keep it themselves. At least these Fools will soon return to their Constituencies and Rotten Boroughs to face the Wrath of the People!

”…and then it kissed him. I never thought Lovecraft was that way inclined!”
“Towards demons or men?”
“Either.”
“Well, that'd explain why he was so unhappy about it. I still can't believe we didn't get to see her executed.”
“Maybe Lovecraft'll try harder next time.”
“I don't know, even if you're interested, what's wrong with being called “a god amongst men, a figure obviously formed from all the grace and beauty in the universe, a perfect star set upon the Earth to inflame desire”?”
“When the sorcerer controlling the demon is having hysterics?”
“I suppose.”

Another pamphlet from “The Dragoon” of Dunkerque…

At last a Great Victory in Europe though it be won by our Allies the Ottoman Turks rather than our own Redoubtable Dragoons. The Turks have long longed to make the Island Nation of Malta their own, but there every Gambit has been repulsed by the Knightly Order of St John. Papists though they be they have Proven to made of Sterner Stuff than the other Cravens of that Marian-Worshipping Error. Now they have Fallen in a Single Night! Their Navy and the Bulk of their Soldiery were set to patrolling the waters to the east and Feinted and Fake-Fought the galleys of the Moors. They little Suspected that the elite Jannisaries of that Infidel nation had entered the Great Castle of the Order and open its Gates to their Fellows.

And yet even in that Distant Field the Sons of Albion acquit themselves well and claim their due Martial Glory for the King. The Lord-Defender and his young ward made their lodgings at the Magical College of La Valetta and when the Turks in their excess made to sweep it from this Earth drew their Swords and fought in its Defense. Great was the Spilling of Blood for even though the Dead themselves rose to Fight against them they were no match for Albion skill or Courage.

Now some on the Continent, base liars and slandermongers, suggest that Albion was the Ottoman puppet. These lies of English dead littering the Field are Nonsense, for what soldier of Albion would Slay his Brothers in such Vile Manner? Not the great Hero Jack Hooke!

An elegant notice posted all around Oxford, and also spotted at Cambridge. Copies were posted around Invisible, but were removed quite rapidly

Do you have a quick mind? Would you like a place at the University of Oxford? In anticipation of its grand opening to come soon, Pembroke College is looking for scholars of all disciplines to join its ranks.

All members of the college are guaranteed feasts aplenty, and some of the finest lecture rooms in Albion!

All enquiries should be directed to Lord Owain Herbert, Earl of Pembroke.

News passed on by word of mouth around Oxford

That dom Alonso, at least I think that's him, he's such a great man! The streets of Oxford are noticeably freer from crime - last week I was only mugged once on my way home. People are saying that dom Alonso, he's with the Portugese embassy, he's helping us all out from the goodness of his heart. And why not? The Portugese are our ancient allies, it's good to see them honouring our friendship. Perhaps we ought to go to Lisboa and quell their crime?

Pamphlets flood every town and hamlet in Albion, promoting the great deeds of the Dragoons in the new war with France.

Men and Women of Albion, your Country needs You! In safety you have grown Prosperous and Wealthy but as Albion has waxed mighty the Papists of the Continent have grown Jealous. Now they would take what is ours, they would Smash our Churches, they would Muder our Great King, they would grind our Freedoms 'neath the Mitre of the Bishop of Rome. It is time for the People of Albion to Shout in One Great Voice: NO!

The Major-General de Vries shows us what the Soldiers of Albion can do. She strikes Terror into the hearts of the defenders of Rennes as she arrives wreathed in the Smoke of black powder and the Loud Roar of the cannon. But every Man and Woman of the Kingdom can do their Part. Major Anastasia Hamilton keeps the stomachs of the Infantry filled and their Muskets primed so that they can put Lead Balls in the Crawling Bellies of the Frogs.

Join the Dragoons. Service means Glory!

A discrete note found pinned to the noticeboards of the better class of coffeehouse.

It is with regret that Sir Elias Ashmole must temporarily close his unique collection of curios and antiquities of interest to the Peerage and Nobility of Albion. After some urgent remedial work is performed Sir Elias will be once more pleased to welcome the Best Class of People for viewings by appointment only.

In smaller writing beneath

Sir Elias Ashmole promises generous recompense for any information about members of the Lower Orders who may have been seen in the vicinity of his House in these most recent weeks.

Newsheet posted around Oxford and major cities

The whole city is once more in uproar over the newest murder of a foreign representative. More outrageous than before! After the murder of a Papal delegate, being a French Cardinal, and the French Ambassador, comes a demonic attack on Embassy soil. Foule murder committed with most evil intention against Bishop Iago Vasquez, come only to see justice done for the murder of Cardinal Mazarin. Are foreigners not safe on our streets? Are we not a Civilised and Respected nation?

The murder must cause the most Calamitous situation Abroad and can only result in war unless the perpatrator is found. And what a devious slave of the Hellish forces he must be, for the Sorcerers and Theurgists of the city all say that a great Demonic weapon must have been used to kill the Bishop.

From an article in the regular pamphlet The Dragon published in Dunkerque since the Dutch Wars and popular with the Albion military.

So! The Vatican takes offence at the deaths of its ambassadors? Well The Dragon knows even the declaration of war by that vile papist fool will not scare the might of Albion. We are sure our brave and gallant Dragoons will soon beat these heretic fools into submission. And what of Padua, Venice and Milan? Their threats of joining the Vatican are simply a mockery; if they have any sense, they will avoid the certain destruction that declaring war would wreak upon their nations.

Court members will be aware that the Vatican has declared war upon Albion, and that some other Catholic nations are threatening to follow suit.

From an official message sent by Liverpool which soon became relatively public

The attempt of your agent, such a high-ranking man as the Lord-Defender of the Crown, to act with warring intent against our Principality has been thwarted. Lord Jack Hooke, attempting to bring dangerous explosives into the city was apprehended by our Guard and the offending articles confiscated.

This is an insult to our state and goes against the good faith that others have displayed.

If this man is a criminal and acting against the Honourable intentions of your Sovereign and Government then as a criminal he must be tried in Liverpool's courts. All further peaceful delibiration between Albion and Liverpool are conditional upon your handing over of Jack Hooke.

“The Galshom Bursary, being financed by Sir Galshom of Northallerton, MP, is worth 5 pounds sterling per anum, a more than generous sum, and to be awarded to a student displaying Unusual Talent in the study of Witchcraft.”

“It gives me great pleasure to announce the first recipient of this award, one Mistress Eliza Gamut.”

A news sheet distributed around Oxford and other major cities.

The Lord-Defender of Albion, Jack Hooke, has been arrested for the triple charges of Treason, Murder and Heresy. The Lord-Defender is charged with the murders of two ambassadors from the Vatican and one from France, as well as attempting to destroy Liverpool without the permission of His Majesty, and failing to attend church for at least the entirety of the previous year.

Indeed, there are rumours that he used some Demonic Weapon to kill all three, though what effect it may have had can only be left up to your imagination. The War with France and the Vatican can both be laid directly at the feet of Jack Hooke, as can our current tensions with Liverpool. We can only hope that the full extent of his links to the Infernal Realms will be discovered when he is put to the Question.

The King himself is understood to have signed the warrant for his arrest, although he will be allowed to Court to attempt to explain himself.

An extract from a rather rabid pamphlet entitled the Spread of the Heresy.

The skyline of Oxford is a part of our Great Cultural Heritage. The steeples of the College chapels, the dreaming spires of the Colleges themselves, the cries from the minaret calling the faithful to prayer…

The East India Company is not responsible for setting up Embassies, and it is not right that every heathen foreigner with sufficient money should be invited to Albion to pay with Gold for the corruption of Good, English Souls. The Jews threaten…

A grubby handwritten pamphlet showing the signs of being trodden on a few too many times, posted in taverns in and around York

Praise to Alexander Gray, for he has Ridden us of the Problems of the Gryphons. No more do they Moult upon our Lands. Our Streets are once again Free of Feathers! May the Horties stay Long about York, and may Alexander Gray be Praised for his Wondrousness!

And, have you Seen that Magnificent purple Beast? A sight to Behold, I tell you!

An extract from Tyburn Tales, a rather gruesome pamphlet detailing the deeds of those clearly destined for the gallows, and those who’ve already been there.

Those dastardly villains who would steal our prince from us have met their righteous end! Having been sentenced by the King himself, the two captured kidnappers were dragged to the gallows outside Oxford, whence they were short-hung, drawn out alive, beheaded and quartered. Their bodies will be sent across Albion and the continent as a reminder of what happens to anyone who attempts to harm Albion and her own.

Tyburn Tales understands from one of the country’s top interrogators that all efforts to question the kidnappers failed; it seems they had some supernatural resistance to all the interrogation methods tried. Tyburn Tales also understands the interrogators tried all the available interrogation methods…

News from “The Dragon”, a popular military pamphlet published in Dunkerque

… our correspondents in Parliament have been able to Ascertain some of the terms on the Maltese Deal struck between the King's Parliament and the Ottomans. Lieutenant Christopher Ball, ever tireless in his questioning has Sure and Firme information. The Earl of Glastonbury is acting, with the King's grace, as the interim governor of the Isle - it is our belief that his hands shall be Fulle with necessities of Organisation and considering Princess Mary's party this should not be Beyond him.

For Malta remaining in Christian hands, as it doth now, we must thank the efforts the Lady Elizabeth Weaver who is credited with the compromise of the sale. It has been known for some time, and kept cunningly concealed at “The Dragon”, that the Ottomans are strapped for moneys. Thus, a sale, as it has gone ahead, has kept the Isle from Turkish hands but yet keeps our peace with the Turks. And we are in short supply of peace…

From “The True Menne of Englande” an occasional pamphlet supposedly published by exiled English Catholics

From murder to ignominy, the disastrous Protestant Albion seeks further to corrupt the world. Not done murdering foreign Catholic Bishops upon their soil, these heretics have now in nefarious plan raised sword against a Knightly Order. The purchase of the Isle from the Infidel is but a poor explanation for their participation in the treachery that took the isle. Why would the Infidel sell the isle but in recompense for the murder of their enemies?!

From an Anglican pamphlet distributed around Edinburgh, Glasgow and other Scottish cities. A few copies make their way to Oxford.

This fighting must stop! We are all Scots at heart, be we Anglican or Puritan! The appointment of the Archbishop can only advance the position of Scotland in the politics of Albion. Claiming it is undermining the True Scots way is pure nonsense; we must move with the times, after all. Yes, the Archbishop is a strong proponent of the Anglican church; but the Anglican church is the church of the nation in which we live!

Surely this rioting cannot be helping! As part of Albion we can be great, before we were just another small nation. France is the Enemy of Albion, they will never help us. We must work together, and we can only do that under the Anglican church.

A pamphlet circulated in the port-cities of Albion

[…] once more the good Captain lives up to his name, reducing the wooden ships of Spain and France to nothing more than Splinters and Driftwood scattered by the tide and wind. Smashing by Name and Smashing by Nature! But the Captain is no Profiteer though he be a Privateer. He seizes upon the wealth of our enemies, but the Treasure that would enrich our Foes instead Confounds them. Every doubloon that he takes goes to the paying of a Dragoon in the service of Albion. What need of a Navy sworn to the King when the free men of the Venerable Order do twice as much in their Patriotic Fervour?

A proposal floated in the salons of Oxford. Its concerns and arguments are clear though its style is somewhat lacking as if written by those unfamiliar with that rarified intellectual and fasionable environ.

[…] and so Three Great Squadrons will be formed by those who hold Letter of Marque from the Government of the King. And each such gentlewoman or lord shall be required to serve in those Same Squadrons for six months in every Three Years. (Though those who can find a Fellow to stand in their Place shall be Excused the Duty). In this way shall Albion be defended by the Msot Dedicated and Experienced of Sailors and yet shall there be no need for New Taxes to fund the creations of a new fleet.

Extract from the Archbishop of Canterbury's sermon, given in a Cathedral with tarpaulins keeping the rain off the congregation and moored near Oxford for protection.

What Sorcery is this that Plagues our land? What Foulness is this that would desecrate a House of God? When a man comes to pray it should be with peace in heart, not explosives in his walking-stick! Though the Grace of God allowed us the keep the Cathedral afloat, repairs shall be a matter of Years!

The Debauchery of those such as the Diabolist Haroun ibn Racheed is clearly responsible for this collapse in Virtue…

From the official documents establishing Henry Lockett, former Bishop of Leeds, as the Archbishop of Edinburgh.

“The Most Reverend Henry Lockett, inaugurated as the Archbishop of Edinburgh, with full honours. May God bless this most holy man in his endavours to protect the loyal sons and daughters of Albion from sin and corruption, and…”

From tavern gossip around various towns following his inauguration.

“That's right - his Easter sermon, just before all that news about Carlisle came out - stirring stuff, too; about loyalty to the King as the Head of the Church, and how holy Matthew is surely guided by God, plenty of food for thought… when a demon manifested, right there in the nave! Large as sin and twice as nasty - no, I was there - I saw it myself! Like a mass of smoke and chancre, and with a blood-red Bishop's mitre atop - started crying the foulest things against the 'pure son of Christ', threatening to drag in down to Hell - well us in the congregation were pretty bloody terrified, I can tell you that, 'scuse my French! And then the Bishop, as-was, His Grace just strode forward from the lectern and shouted 'Begone, foul fiend!' and the next thing you know the thing got this look of absolute holy terror on what it had for a face, and vanished!

Better'n the theatre, it was - I'll tell you, if he's going to go banishing demons every time he gives a sermon up in Edinburgh, he'll have the Scots on his side in doublequick time! Well, that's assuming the Scots aren't demons themselves…”

After months of wrangling, the modified rules for this year's Boat-Race have been outlined. The major changes are summarised below.

”…At least one full Surface of the Vessel must remain in contact with the Water at all times…”

”…Vessels which are deemed to present a Potential Hazard to other Contestants must maintain a distance of three Boat-Lengths from all other Vessels throughout the duration of the Course, or risk Disqualification…”

”…no additional Crew may join any Vessel during the course of the Race; Teams are permitted to arrange Relief Crews, which may be stationed on Second Boats, but all members of a College who complete the Race at the Finish-Line must have begun the Race at the Start-Line…”

”…provably Dangerous or Insane Plans are grounds for Disqualification, but in the event that the Adjudicators do not deem a submission Insane or Dangerous at its time of entry, the burden of Proof rests on a Challenger from the Opponent's Team or Institution…”

Extracts from Nearer, a gossip pamphlet covering the ups and downs of members of the court.

“…which Lady of court has been courting Lord Devereux?”

“…has been spotted on a number of occasions admiring the Baron Wyndham. If Lady Weaver wants to take her evident desires for the Baron any further, she should refer to page 12 of this edition of Nearer, where we explain how…”

“…but the top spot for this week's most eligible bachelor has to go to The Most Reverend Henry Lockett. All that power, but still unmarried! Nearer predicts that won't be the case for much longer…”

“…which Lord has been seen spending so much time in the company of the gorgeous Anastasia Hamilton?”

“…Prince Lang seems to have travelled a long way to be spending so much time in his stables. The staff at Nearer wonder if he's found himself a pretty young stable girl, or even a stable boy…”

“…newly formed League of Inventors. Although Nearer doesn't often comment on the happenings in the scientific section of the court, we do have to wonder what they're planning. The latest rumours in the Nearer offices are of plans rivaling those of the infamous inventor Hans Franzberg…”

“…send our most heartfelt condolences to William Herbert, the Earl of Pembroke's son. It must be so hard to lose the lady one is courting to Scottish raiders. All of us at Nearer will be praying for the safe return of the Duke of Edinburgh's daughter…”

“Major-General Devereux? Defending a fortress? Fighting? I very much doubt it, he probably doesn't even know which end of the sword to hold. And he certainly can't keep his men in line - filthy murderers the lot of 'em!”

“The Midnight Rose? I hear it's a little too debauched even for Dame Chandler's taste, at least in the inner rooms… you have to wonder what they get up to in there!”

“Lord Wyndham has a food taster these days I hear. Not a very good one at that - he's never died and saved a noble's life.”

“I saw that pious General at Church. That's right, Earl of Hereford, he's been turning up most days of the week for the last few months. Mind you… he could just be feeling the guilt for something!”

“Di Immortales! Estne corpus nefas Regis inferni automati?!”

“Nicholas de Grey in poor health again. It's that damn war wound playing up again, isn't it? that's what you get for riding big birds.”

“Did you hear? Baron Mandrake spiked the drink he gave Dame Chandler, it's why she acted so strangely! Probably just more of that stupid University vs Invisible rivalry if you ask me.”

“Damned Fenians, complain about the weather, the girls, Parliament miscasting their votes. Send the lot back to Ireland and be done with it.”

“If the streets of Oxford are any safer because of that Portugoose, it ain't free from the debt collectors. Or a sharp cheese-knife.”

“Princess Mary is well beloved of the Host. Well, well attended by the Host, at least.”

“Gwendolyn de Vries, best blade in Albion.”

“Gwendolyn de Vries speaks excellent Italian, and has been giving Princess Mary lessons.”

“And when he came out - it was covered in blood! Well, I know, it doesn't sound like any Theurgy I ever heard of, but then, James, I should imagine that's why we're undergraduates and he's got a cushy spot at Court, hobnobbing with the nobs. And Brother Chalk spent plenty of time in the East, didn't he? They do things differently out there….”

“What exactly is Prince Lang doing in the Dragoons? Is he even doing the whole whoring and drinking thing?”

“It's obvious to anyone with half a brain that Carlisle was fed to the French by someone within the Church. Was she even supposed to be out of the country? Bloody internal politics - you'd think men of God could settle things like gentleman rather than all this cloak-and-dagger stuff. It was probably Leeds - stands to reason; she was his only competition for the Archbishopric. Then again, if she was a diabolist, maybe it was for the best…”

“Princess Mary is rather keen on Glastonbury. Too keen, if you get my drift. That's why he went off to Malta, to preserve his virtue.”

“Jack Hooke? I'm Jack Hooke!”

“Verumtamen ad infernum detraheris, in profundum laci.”

”'Leave me!' she said. 'I was created only to cause sickness to infants. If the infant is male, I have dominion over him for eight days after his birth, and if female, for twenty days.'”

“From Edinburgh? Yes, several girls, just up and vanished without a word. I assumed they'd gone to find work elsewhere now they've got the new Archbishop in - he won't look kindly upon the oldest profession, if you know what I meant - but they didn't leave notes behind or anything…”

“Praecepitque ei, dicens: Ex omni ligno paradisi comede; de ligno autem scientiae boni et mali ne comedas: in quocumque enim die comederis ex eo, morte morieris.”

“Lady Elizabeth Weaver is a werewolf, didn't you know? It's how the King finds out about everything these days.”