News: Turn 4

News Received for September in the Year of Our Lord 1605

News in England is distributed in a wide variety of ways. These include notices pasted on the boards of Churches and Taverns and notes sent around the courtiers by the messengers of the nobility and gentry. The most popular distribution however is from the pulpit and the press - the priests and preachers of all churches pass news onto their congregations in town and countryside while many write and publish pamphlets they distribute far and wide. Here follows a collection of the most interesting and important news.

A notice passed on to all regulars of the King’s Great Court by the Lord Chamberlain
The January Court in the Year of Our Lord 1606, held by His Majesty Henry IX Tudor of England, will be moved to the Estates and Holdings of Sir Richard Molyneux. The visit is on occasion of the departure of Her Highness Princess Elizabeth Stuart who will be making her return to Scotland.
Sir Richard will make all the necessary provisions so that the courtiers may rent for themselves appropriate Accomodation and Lodgings for the stay.
It has further been decided that the Spring session of Parliament will be held in the City of York. Note that this relates to Turn 5

A rather cheap and luridly illustrated broadsheet pamphlet.

…evading capture once again, the brave Raven kissed his Sweetheart firmly on the lips and Disappeared into the Night, taking with him a haul of Shining and Glittering Magic for his Mysterious Master! As Lusty in Love as he was Daring and Dastardly in Thievery, he spared neither High nor Low in his Quest to Plunder the Land of Devices of Esoteric and Black Magick!

It seems, from the word on the street, that Jimmy the Raven - or someone using his style - has been focusing his thefts around items rumoured to be magickal. Several individuals have suffered the loss of lucky stones, charmed handkerchiefs and ancestral lockets.

From “The City Idler”

”…this week Your Man in the Penny-Pit has been jostling elbows with audiences at Master Brandage's latest crowd-puller, the tragickal, occasionally bawdy and occasionally bloody tale of a noble aristocrat whose wife seeks to perform good works with the church, but sadly volunteers at the local Cat Sanctuary, run by a corrupt Bishop. Very much in the Greek mode, with plenty of gore and scantily-clad female performers (young Will Seldom notable for his performance as the Succubus; his Italian accent is excellent). The old puns on Cat Houses and so forth are wheeled out with good grace, and all in all it is something of a “Romp”, to use the latest coffeehouse argot. The tragickal end of the unnamed Bishop, in a beautifully staged explosion while clubbing one of Lord Lambert's loyal greyhounds to death, is particularly notable, and Lambert is a hero who - now reunited with his wayward wife, saved from the clutches of Hell - the mob think may even bear out a sequel…”

A pamphlet summarising events in Oxford from the recent months.

…Colonel the Viscount Edward de Vries led a detachment of Dragoons in a valiant peace-keeping effort, arresting the ring-leaders of most of the agitating groups and taking them into custody with the help of the local Magistrates and Masters of the Colleges. The riots were quelled almost entirely with the enforcement of a strict curfew.

Meanwhile, the Earl of Doncaster held a party, attended (among others) by two Italian ladies, a man made entirely of bees, the Viscount Surat and friend, Dame Fiametta Castaldi and Colonel de Vries (looking slightly out of sorts). The party gets somewhat rowdy and eventually has to be broken up by the Dragoons…

…the “Oxford Festival”, meanwhile, is particularly well-atteneded, and the combined efforts of Sir Galahad Tarrant, Master Theodocius Dawkins of Cain's College, the Bishop of Arundel and other worthies ensure that a day of peace wash away almost entirely the tragic events of May Morning…

…the new Anglican Bishop of Oxford, meanwhile, prepares to take his place at the head of a town divided but not - as yet - torn.

It is with great pleasure that I announce my engagement to the Dame Karin Mayer. We are to be wed in Westminister shortly after the next court meeting. A notice circulated by Sir Richard Molyneux

Extract from a pamphlet circulated widely.

The rivers of England are safe to travel once more! Verily were they filled with the blood of those who would prey on innocent travellers as Captain Gloria O'Keefe swept through the countryside. Like unto a tornado she was, everywhere searching for those scurvy currs who were responsible for the disappearance of our Beloved Bishop Mary, the Connaught Brethren! It is good to see that even the Catholics have joined us in Disgust at the actions of those scum!

It goes on with more detailed tales of swash buckling and derring-do on the rivers of England, some of which seem to involve the Captain being in two places at once.

My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, The Royal Astrologer, Mother Rachel de Courtney, Abbess of Dartley, has proposed that for the Safety and Security of our most Sovereign Monarch and his most loyal Courtiers, all those entering Full Court shall be sprinkled or doused with Blessed Water from a Christian Pulpit prior to their entrance, to prevent the vagaries of Demons and other Undesirables making their way into the Presence of His Majesty King Henry IX Tudor. Those wishing to raise Comment or Objection upon this matter should submit their thoughts, in writing, to the Lord Chamberlain at their earliest Convenience.

…and LO, there was a great HUE and CRY as of one thousand CHILDREN screaming in DIREST AGONY! Straight through the establishment of the renowned Bishop of Hereford did the hell-hounds run, scattering DESTRUCTION and EXPLOSIONS in their wake!

…the YOWLING OF CATS and the DETONATION OF DOGS was heard for many streets around, and the entire town of Southwark was placed in an Uproar! As the Flames leaped about the windows of the Second Story, Cats were seen throwing themselves from the very rooftops in a frenzy of Panic!…

…it is believed that most of the cats escaped unharmed, although the Cattery itself was razed almost to the Ground and several handlers Severely Mangled. None of the Hell-Hounds were captured, all having Detonated and leaving but Hunks of Steaming and Tattered Flesh behind…

Circulated around the upper echelons of London society.

The Master of the King's Menagerie wishes it to be known that Nippur and Nineveh, the Panthers so recently gifted to His Majesty by His Grace Augustus Wells-Lacy, the Bishop of Hereford, will be Available for Respectful Viewing between the hours of Noon and Dusk on Thursdays and Saturdays. Visitors are warned that both Noble Creatures are yet somewhat Savage and should not be approached too Closely.

Furthermore, should any wish to present themselves as an adequate Trainer to tutor these beasts in the ways of the good English Hunt, they are encouraged to speak to His Majesty or the Lord Chamberlain at the next Meeting of Court.

….I call all men of Yorkshire to arms, that we might destroy these fell beasts once and for all… excerpt from a notice circulated around Yorkshire by Lord Christopher Wick, Viscount of Bradford

It is a pleasure to see the traditions that made England great revived. In the Yorkshire town of Bradford the Viscount Christopher Wick calls for a wolf hunt, the first for two generations. I encourage all those who have the opportunity to participate in this to do so, for it is an excellent chance to enjoy both the thrill of the hunt and protect the people of Yorkshire. - an extract from a pamphlet by Professor O'Donnell, Master of History at Scone, Oxford.

News slowly filters through to London. Most of the printing-houses are too horrified to print off cheap or satirical pamphlets concerning the events, and so word-of-mouth is the main method of transmission.

”…arms splayed about his head, almost in a star shape…”

”…chalk marks on the ground about him, like he'd been used in some terrible ritual…”

”…face all blackened and bruised like he'd been choked to death, and this strange green froth…”

”…entrails ripped right out of him! And spread about him in some sort of pentagram! Good Christ save us, what sort of monsters are these?!…”

”…ripped right out of his evening meditations, they didn't find him for three days…”

”…some abandoned church away in Kent…”

Finally a public announcement is made. A week of mourning is declared for His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury, who was found in an abandoned warehouse in Kent, apparently ritually murdered, his entrails torn out and used for some sort of diabolical ritual. Although no suspects are named, every rumour carries a variant of the same thing: About his neck was a sign, reading “Tested - And Found Wanting. C.B.”

From the sermon of a Yorkshire priest

… to hold great debates of theology in our county! The Archbishop has deemed it a necessary action to placate the angers of the insatiable Puritans and Catholics who do go at each other's throats like Rabid dogs. It is the Dawn of a new and Holy age in England where the Righteous may be more free of their beliefs and their Rightness confirmed…

From the speech given by the Archbishop of York

I have brought you all here with a Desire to make the true voices heard above the violence and Commotion of the Oxford Riots. For if we do not answer the concerns of those who are misled, misguided or yet misjudge our Religion, then we have not cared for those we profess to care about. Let Huntington be the site of our peace and unity and let us settle these matters so that each may be confirmed or denied to the satisfaction of all…

The Sermon of Thou-shalt-not-worship-grave-idols Smith after the Huntington Debates

… for, brothers, we have won most great concessions from the would-be papists. As the Reverend Archbishop of York has promised, so the Church declares itself before the eyes of God and so I have worked and toiled to open their own eyes to their mistakes. We are victorious in this one battle to make those that are Faithful realise that yet there remain those who would Oppress in the name of the Church and would use their undeserved Authority to greedy purposes.

A Pamphlet circulating London and some other major towns

… a Glorious triumph of the Holy Church of Rome that did march into the fray with Bright Light and God's Grace did show the very Truth of Catholicism. While yet the land still suffers beneath the unholy indifference of the Neglectful King, and the 'English' Church does bed the Puritanical swine and grants them the tool of Huntington, so the Blessed of God are awoken to hold the filth at bay! A glorious day for the One True Church that we have show our Right Path for all those to see and have defeated the False Beliefs of those that would call themselves the Saintly…

the Pamphlet continues to extol Catholic virtues and victories at the Huntington debates including the work of the Bishop of Arundel. It is signed, simply, “Solomon”.

The proclomation of Theodore Watts, the new Bishop of Oxford

For there is no harder duty than to stand for one's own beliefs and yet accept and concede that one may yet be taught. For we are not Saints and even the best do live in Sin and do deny the Word of the Lord in our ignorance and other mortal woes. Yet this true Christian is capable of Humility and know well the Scriptures - so he had shown at the Huntington Debates where all, Anglican, Puritan and Catholic were amazed by his knowledge and voice and humbled by his careful observance of that which the Church may yet learn from its extremes…

There are a host of other sermons, pamphlets and notices from Catholic, Anglican and Puritan sources that declare victory in the name of the Lord

from the print 'The Ways of the Nobility' by Justiniana Happley

And what a Dashing figure Sir Alexander cuts as he moves through the Streets of Londone. For though occasionally alone as I have seen him on a few Occasions, Sir Alexander is more likely to be accompanied by some friend or companion of our class. For Sir Alexander has learned Much from our Fantastic King who would be so Gracious as to befriend a young man and bring him Royal education. So does Sir Alex himself bring education to those unfortunately not Graced with good birth or any obvious standing. This is Quite the way of the nobility these past few months. If only I was so Fortunate as to favour the eye of the Countess of Pembroke!

The print continues to describe various other important persona who had adopted the style of the King and Sir Alexander in adopting a 'Boy' of 'Girl'.

A notice posted in the halls of the Parliament at Westminster

The Lord and Commons did vote on the laws of the land and on matters of advice as follows:

A Motion of Support for the Dutch

Passed. The Parliament calls upon the King and all of England to lend all necessary support for the War against the Spanish so that the Dutch Republic may be at peace and safe from threat.

A motion for the limits of Recusancy Laws; an amendment

Passed with little opposition. The Bishops and Archbishops of the Church of England and the Catholic Church may now give Extraordinary leave for individuals of extrme poor health to take Eucharist at home with the assistance of a Priest. They shall be free from the Fines that the Laws propose.

A list of other laws, major and minor and their results follows.

The state of the Speaker of the House

Though I have been granted by our Dutch allies a Baroncy of their land, and though this does not have to be in conflict with my conscience in Parliamentary debate, I refrain from voicing my opinion on such matters as concern the Spanish War and our Actions in the Netherlands…

Motions proposed.

A Motion to Declare Witchcraft (proposed by Master Henry Dodrige)

I would move that our country provide all means grant health to our people. In aid of this, I propose that each Practicioner of Witchcraft must make him or herself officially known and be recorded with their local priest. Thus, across the country, all such will be recorded and any who wish to easier receive treatment for their ailment or ill, may visit these for medicinal purposes. So that no-one is left without these goods, the failure to accede to such action should incur a significant fine or threat of prison…

The Motion is hotly debated in Parliament and both the Commons and Lords remain divided on the issue.

A Motion for an Additional War-Tax

That the Spanish war may be pursued and completed to the benefit of England and that Spain may be prevented from ever causing grievance to our Kingdom. A tax necessary to the fulfilment of our Duties in the world.

There is significant support for the Tax, but it is faced with a powerful opposition who see an extra tax, even for such a cause, to be too strenuous on the people of England. The opponents argue that to impoverish England at the expense of a King's war is irresponsible, the supporters however claim that since Parliament itself had advised the King to war, then they must lend all possible support to its conclusion.

A note penned by Master Thomas Irvin and printed in the City of London

… a bronzen skin, Glistening in the afternoon sun and with hair thick and raven-black. This most wondrous boy that hath returned with Lord Gerard is like an American Achilles, both lithe and strong.

Yet he doth view our Magnificent London with wonder and awe, both fearing and enjoying these new sites.

It seems the boy, whose name I have not yet been trusted with of the Viscount, is much attached to the Lord Gerard and is a Faithful Friend. It is as if they had foreknown the fashions of today's City before they had departed the Americas.

It continues describing the 'Native' in more detail.

An Invisible College-published pamphlet entitled 'The Voice!' - apparently a student publication

The good Lord Arundel presented us with party of Epic proportions furnished with all the needs and requirements of a student! It would so be slanderous and most wrong to suppose that this man could be anything but generous and kind-hearted. It would do well for the Professors of our college to see the benefits of such relaxation that so improves our study and general well-being.

For if we are to enjoy ourselves, let it be in such civilised yet extraordinary venues such as provided by the Lord Arundel who, quite unlike the most unpleasant Bishop (!) is the friend of the Faculties of Mind!

Continues in a similar vein on this and other subjects

An English patriotic war pamphlet - “The Dragon”, published in Amsterdam by Lieutenant Richard Ball

It is with great pleasure that we see the King of England once again act with Brilliance, Thought and Courage. The pitiful Peace that the Spanish have offered was but a bag of coins which the King did well to reject outright.

We must continue to fight the Catholic Spanish who would overrun the whole of Europe unchecked and the Habsburgs would dearly love to rule from the Atlantic to the Russian Steppes. It is now Harry England and the Dutch that bravely stand in the way and must surely crush the Spanish Tyrant in no time.

Only when the Spanish plead for Peace on our own terms and when the Spanish King might travel to London to confess his sins will the Sons and Daughters of England stop!

A notice nailed to the boards in Churches, Town Halls and Various establishments of the English cities

Alexandro Magnifico! The Most Famous magician of the land is returned to England for Performances FANTASTIC.

Approach the Extraordinary Conjurer NOW to Entertain and Amaze your friends and acquaintances.

Mind-blowing displays! The Dance of the Dragons! The Fifth Season! A Shattered Mirror of Lights! All the Olde Favourites!

Call now at the sign of the Conjurer's Hat, Whitechapel.

Those who read the entire notice will notice an image of the Conjurer suddenly appear and wink before scattering in a myriad of colours.

From “The Rake of Fashion”, a small pamphlet updated weekly, and sold in the more exclusive tailors and dressmakers. It becomes almost tiresome for the Rake to relate the latest news of the Viscount Hertfordshire, for we need only look around us at those worth seeing to know what he is wearing. And this season his wardrobe has become more martial for the mighty Dragonkiller and Spainard-slayer has seasoned his mourning black with the crimson of his foes. The smart military jacket, in black with very shiny brass buttons, of a military officer is now worn by the most unlikely and weak. But more remarkable are the trousers for this is a cruel trend. Not the exquisite workmanship and design of Admiral Taylor's of the last season, but oh so very very tight! The Rake salutes the Viscount - a Splitter of Other Man's Seams.

The dashing Sir Alexander Cross accessories beautifully with a simple pendant of crystal around his roguish neck. The fops of London are in a tizzy for crystal is nothing, less than the cost of a decent hankerchief. But how to copy the glow, the inner light, that shines within the crystal? That is the question! The Rake suspects every conjurer in London has already been asked.

A pamphlet signed by the Free Men of a Pure England

… and Chester has in the past been a Strong Bulwark against the animals that Infested Wales before we Brought them Civilisation! And now outside those same Mighty Walls a new strain of Celtic Scum naming themselves “Brothers” of a Province in that Soggy Treacherous land reveals itself. For they have raised their Blades against Her Highness Princess Elizabeth and sought to Cut her Down. Arise Sons of Albion and answer this Insult! Learn the Lesson the Baron Daresbury has Taught us, for faced with the Threat of the Irish he knows that Fire and Sword are the Solution…

A pamphlet from a Puritan sect

… clearly the Work of Catholics. For every one that professes the Unholy Faith of the Antichrist in Rome be in their Heart a Traitor. In Secret Conclave they carry out the Will of Spain and their Jesuit Masters. Yeah, even unto an Attack upon Our Future Protestant Queene. Praise be to God for the Strong Arm of the Duke of Somerset that slew the Popish Plotters…

A dog-earred pamphlet which seems as likely to have printed with a potato as moveable type

… the most to gain from this Strike? The Irish are a Defeated Rabel. The Catholic poison too Subtle and Cunning to be so blatant. But the French, our Eternal Enemy, who would suspect them? And their Fair-seeming Foul-scheming Princess has a Prize to Win worth the Gamble. A single Lucky Blow and perhaps she Wins a Kingdom for her Upstart Bourbon clan…

From the notes of Master Thomas Irvin, printed in the City of London

Bravely did the Dragoons sally forth that day, pausing only for tea and light refreshment, as appropriate for gentlemanly gardening! Hefting sabres and pruning-forks, they journeyed with haste via the rose garden, skirting the chrysanthemums and deftly avoiding damage to the prize tomatoes!

The enemy were both numerous and savage, with twisting Jaws and terrible staring Eyes, but the brave forces of the Duke of Somerset cried “De Vries!” as they raised their stalwart muskets, and “De Vries!” as they fired a volley into the oncoming rush of vegetable fury! Hail and Lightning rained down upon the estate, charring all in their wake! The fruits of Magickal mishap had threatened the innocent shepherds and labourers of Hertfordshire for Too Long - and under the leadership of the brave Sir Simony, they would be safe once more from these vegetative monstrosities!

The pamphlet continues in similar tone, detailing with lurid verbosity the brave efforts of Sir Simony de Vries and Duke of Somerset's forces to destroy the plant-monster things ravaging the De Vries estate and Hertfordshire countryside.

A Pamphlet: Hastily and cheaply printed, and circulated around taverns and coffeehouses where members of the Companies of London Players are known to congregate.

”…call to Somerset, that we might have the aid of our Brethren in this our time of need. Put aside rivalries of Company and Author; all debts will be paid, all favours returned, for the Players of London have today lost some of our best and brightest. Fair Jebediah Michaels will never walk again, and brave Ben Donne is gone from us forever. Whether accident or hideous conspiracy caused that disastrous explosion we know not, but the result is the same: The Lord Admiral's Men are decimated, their Author near ruin with misery and their Leading Lady has gone with God. Master Oswyn Osillbury's finest costumes are in tatters. Bring your selves, bring your voices, bring your pens and carpenters and properties, for the showe is for the King, and The Showe Must Go On.”

A document circulated generally shortly before Court, bearing the seal of Tudor.

“Let it be known that Master William Brandage of London and Master Hans Franzberg of Austria are to present themselves at their immediate convenience to His Majesty the King to provide an explanation for the most hideous occurrence and Vile Murder surrounding the rehearsal of Master Brandage's most recent play. Master Brandage and Master Franzberg are bound not to leave Somerset until His Majesty so decrees it.”

From “The City Idler”, a popular serial pamphlet including reviews of recent plays and performances.

”…your correspondent finds himself this week not a City but a Country Idler, in the idyllic and remarkably flame-free surroundings of Somerset, where Master Brandage's most recent offering has been set before the King himself as a prelude to the coming Court to be held upon the Duke's lands. You will no doubt by now have heard of the terrible disaster blighting rehearsals for the piece, caused apparently by some defective stage-prop - and your correspondent will pause a moment here to note that it was not last month he was crying out for the days when good honest Conjuration was enough for a show's flash-bangs, and none of this fiddly mechanical nonsense! - and utterly decimating Master Brandage's cast, set and properties.

Given this ill beginning, the performance was nevertheless a remarkable success. Particularly notable was the appearance of Mistress Mary Feldspar as Guinevere - those of you who follow the Lord Chamberlain's Men may remember Mistress Feldspar's excellent Romeo last summer, and it is clear that she is now ready to tackle more mature roles; perhaps we shall see her Titania before the decade is out! Master Oswyn Osillbury's costumes did more than justice to the excellent set, which, given the rumour your correspondent has heard that they were in shreds and tatters from musket-shot not two days before the performance opened, is a feat of tailoring attributable only to Angelic assistance.

His Majesty and Princess Elizabeth appeared most delighted with the performance, and despite a fear of displeasure from Good King Harry on the naval battle cut so rudely from the script at the last moment, were even seen staring into one another's eyes as Arthur and Guinevere shared their first kiss.

Meanwhile, my theatre gossips tell me that Uther Paendrag (or honest Jack Staywhelp of the Chiswick Players to you and I) has recently been seen in the company of…”

Any Noble who wishes to have attended the pre-Court performance of Brandage's play may have done so. It is a remarkably fine performance of the first part of the Arthurian epic, notably lacking in any adultery. The costumes are enviable.

Another playbill from the Rose Theatre.

THIS WEEK AT THE CROSS-ROADES INN:

MARVEL as Sir Luca Braganza (played by honest Thomas Jonson), with his sweet wife and precocious son (Elizabeth Carmichael) stop by the Inn and share the hospitality of your well-loved personages!

DELIGHT at the Japes and Capers that occur!

HORROR at the plots of the vile Papist Fenian rebels!

WONDER at the loyal Irishman who assists the daring Knight of the Realm in his hour of need!

Funne for Alle the Family!

(Performances between sunset Saturday and dawn Monday suspended in respect for His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury, God rest his soul.)

A minor notice circulated around the more reputable establishments of London

As the hard winter approaches the shores of England it is wise to think of one's warmth and protection against the cold. It is fortuitous that Master Osillbury has produced wonderful garments of English wool.

Though only a few articles have been demonstrated to the select, it seems the exotic tinge provided by latest Eastern fashions have been a great influence on the tailor.

So we may all look as splendid and bright in winter as in summer!

The notes are supplied with various engravings of the styles.

Sensational article published in the “The Dragon”

…Colonel the Viscount de Vries with little regard for his own life rushed forward into the Breach and shunning both musket and pike burst forth to slaughter the Spanish dogs! His sword shining with a bright and holy fire raining God's fury upon the Papist curs and scattering all enemies before him…

…Colonel Braganza commanded the artillery at Antwerp with magnificence and brilliance and within but a week had devised many breaches into their walls. Once the Lord-General ordered the assault, the Braganza was the first in after Colonel de Vries' assault. As his troops readied their weapons with a Great Crashing and Heavenly Light the Archangel Michael did appear and standing side-by-side with Colonel Braganza poured forth the English into the city…

…by Sunset, as the light began to fade and last rays of the sun shone over the devastated walls of Antwerp, Colonel de Vries stood to raise the English colours above the keep, his armour playing with the light, so Antwerp fell…

…The next day a runner from the Dutch informed our Lord-General of the fall of Brugges…

The arcticle includes many more details of the siege and the actions of Colonels Braganza and de Vries

A seperate article in “The Dragon”

No sooner had Colonel de Vries reported to Lord-General Belvoir and plans were being made for a short rest before the next advance, than news was received from the Channel Fleets. Admiral Taylor had bravely defended the waters against a Spanish fleet, wrecking many ships and drowning many men, but sadly could not prevent the landing of a new Spanish force. He suggested that as many as 30,000 men could have landed and now pose a threat to the Anglo-Dutch forces in the Netherlands.

Hearing the news, the Lord-General claimed that he would “drive the Spanish into the sea where they had come from and chase them all the way to Madrid!”

“…and so it is the solemn Duty of every good Catholic to aid the Archbishop in throwing off the Demon which possesses him. It is sure that this is what has caused his Puritanical Outburst in Oxford and with the Demon Banished Anglican worship shall surely come closer to the True Faith, if not return entirely.” extract from the sermon of a Catholic priest.

“I didn't know what to do! Jamie shouldn't be hearing words like that at his age, but when an Archbishop's using them you can hardly tell him to stop!” conversation of two middle aged women in a coffee house in York

“I nearly leapt out of my seat! The Archbishop of York's not exactly who you want to see when you're enjoying the company of a young woman, is it, after those stories of him throwing things through windows. But he just went upstairs.” and another conversation, this time between two young men.

“And the Anglican Church has been damned and gone astray, falling for Puritan fancy and abandoning all good and Holy ways… …as I was possessed by a foul demon of Hell and did things vile and terrible in concordance with it… …And yet I will still be the only saved man of the Church for my faith remains the truest!” and the words of the Archbishop himself, reported by reliable witnesses.

“ SIGN after SIGN comes to us, telling of the FILTH that lives in Daresbury! For has not the LORD seen fit to punish him? Lo, do his livestock fall DEAD in the fields, and lo do the rivers of Daresbury run red with BLOOD! Flies do surround him, like unto those that surround BEELZEBUB, the Corrupter, his Master. So shall be the punishment of those who cause women to fall so far to VICE that even the sight of the CROSS causes them to cover their eyes in PAIN!

“The congregation will now hear a reading from Exodus…”

Another extract from the Sermon of the minor Catholic priest who so enthusiastically declared D'Alembert the Anti Christ earlier in the year. More sensible voices speak with worry that this may mark the start of another outbreak of the plague.

“Stay awake, for thou knowest not the hour when the Lord cometh.”
”…why did Master Franzberg's hatstand follow him to Somerset?”
“I hear there are Catholic agitators in France… yeah, Spaniards, rosaries and everything, spread throughout the countryside! Ready to slaughter their women and children at any moment!”
“Yes, I know the East India Company have a monopoly - but - have you ever actually met anyone who works at a powder mill? I mean, anyone who's ever actually handled the making of gunpowder?”
“Didn't you hear? One of Oswyn Osillbury's maids is pregnant! But here's the thing - her Priest and two Witches swear she's a virgin!”
“Well, I bought one of Master Franzberg's toys for our Jimmy, and the next day the hearth exploded! And his new puppy! I want my money back…!”
“Apparently Dame Karin Mayer was taken ill at some point this month… yes, I hear her physician recommended lots of healthy cleansing baths…“
“Did you hear? Sir Richard has finally lost money!”
“Sir William, did you hear Sir Alexander Cross try speaking Dutch with those Gentlemen at the coffeehouse? Quite remarkable, I gather he has a man from the Embassy at his lodgings.”
“I swear to God it was the Bishop of Hereford! Covered in blood, waving his crozier, cassock tattered, screaming incoherently and clubbing dogs to death! In the street! In the very street! One of them sunk its teeth into his ankle and he didn't even flinched, just screamed something in a language that sounded like the tongue of Hell itself and stove its skull in!”
“Archdeacon Thrumbold sustained serious injuries during his passage through the rose window, and landed heavily on a small party of schoolchildren on a tour of Canterbury in the square outside.”
“Yes, I hear all those fashionable young men who hang out at those coffee-houses are wearing a red ribbon bound round their hand. I have no idea - maybe it's some invert thing!”
“The Spanish Embassy seem to be very pleased with Don Santiago, I heard they threw a great party for him, and his friends.”
“Rebecca Lanik's recent poem? No, it wasn't circulated wildly but it was bloody hilarious, you must get hold of a copy! All that stuff about cats and the way he treats those “Fallen Women” of his - not sure what all that stuff about the Angels and the compact and the children was about, but it was bloody funny!”
“We've got enough trouble with the Dutch these days - we fight a bloody war for them, spill Spanish blood, sacrifice our own men and women and all we've gotten is a Barony for Sir Alexander Cross. I'm willin' to believe it isn't real either, Sir Alex is their man.”
“What on earth was the Baron of Tralee thinking? Firing all his staff like that, then having them replaced with English. Mind you, there is money in working there, I have to say I was tempted to go.”
“Oh ain't Master Scrubs an 'andsome man. Sir Alex's maid is a very luck girl!”
“That's eight times Master Osillbury nearly knocked me over. Constantly going backwards and forward into Scotland, seein' that Princess Elizabeth, curryin' her favour. He's favoured by her it seems.”
“I was talking to the Comte d'Angers and he says the Duke of Somerset is quite the talk of France. They all love him there. Couldn't possibly imagine why.”
“I hear the East India Company are planning on rationing gunpowder! How am I supposed to keep the vermin and beggars down without it?!”
“Did you hear about the Countess of Pembroke at the Earl's Ball? Turned up in a dress by Osillbury - he promised it was a unique creation - and found four other ladies wearing the same design!”
“Seems that more than a few fops eventually found the money for a few mirrored-glasses. That alchemist must have made a pretty penny before the craze died away.”
“What is it with frilly shirts and red ribbons? That's the fourth gentleman I've seen today wearing the combination. And they all seem so emotional.”
“Heard tell a star fell out o'the sky o'er Berkshire, 'parently near took t'head off someone. Probably 'nother one of them thar signs of t'apocalyse.”
“Sir Richard's servants are all whispering about the sonnet he wrote for his Dame. You wouldn't think of it but apparently not only does he love something besides money, he can put it in words that would melt the heart of Winter herself!”
“Which de Vries brother knocked down the Church wall?! And why? Oh, a Catholic Church…“