News received for February in the Year of Our Lord 1607
News in England is distributed by a wide variety of ways. These include notices pasted on the boards of Churches and Taverns and notes sent around the courtiers by the messengers of the nobility and gentry. The most popular distribution however is from the pulpit and the press - the priests and preachers of all churches pass news onto their congregations in town and countryside while many write and publish pamphlets they distribute far and wide. Here follows a collection of the most interesting and important news.
From the Critique of Pure Reasonableness, an occasional pamphlet discussing the plays and performances of the plays of the Companies of London Players.
And so with the Great Flooding in the County of Somerset the Lord Admiral's Men Struggle back to London to Stage their next Play, a work of the renowned William Brandage. In this latest Masterpiece we Witness the Adventures of the strange Captain Weatherwhite amongst the Exotic Sights of the Distant East. On the Surface this is Dashing Tale of a Handsome Adventurer rescuing foreign Princesses and fighting Savage Oriental Pirates upon far tropical seas. But 'neath that Surface we find a tale of the Corruption of a man Released by distance from the Limitations of Society. His Nobility around the beautiful Princesses rings Hollow as his Lecherous eye removes their already Scandalous Clothing and Despite his Noble Words the excellent actor Thomas Marcham shows that they will Surrender their bodies Willing or No.
By the Time this Pirate Captain has washed Ashore on the Fabled Shore of a Lost Island the audience know him to be a Monster in the Fairest of Forms. The Play ends With His Introduction to the Emperor of that Land who is Taken in by his Lying Words as he Surveys the Impressionable Ladies of that Court, the Design to Father a race of Bastards filled with his Corrupt Blood clear in his Treacherous Eyes.
A note penned by Master Thomas Irvin and printed in the City of London
And though there had been one Dawn already that Day all within the Counties that Surround the Bristol Channel were greeted by a Second. A Great Light was seen within that Channel and then an Enormous Report as if the Firing of a Great Cannon though it did last Many Minutes. I have heard Reports from as far as Amsterdam of those who Claim to have Heard that Fearful Din and some Near to the Cornish Shores report that the Earth itself Shook for a Score of Minutes. Many Suppose that the Wrath of God has been Visited upon some part of England or a Secret Spanish Fleet that Lurked over the Watery Horizon. Others instead Whisper that Master Franzberg has been at Work once more.
The Simple Folk who live within Sight of his Workshop, guarded by the Ships of the Duke of Somerset, say that many Strange and Blasphemous creatures do Dwell upon that Island and that Some do Escape and Terrorise them. They say that the Dead live Once Again and Wander into the Countryside around, Killing and Destroying in a Shambolic Parody of Life.
From a sermon by a Catholic priest of the parish of Hove.
… and we must raise our voices in thanks too for the great generosity of the Don Santiago who financed the great mass of thanksgiving offered up by the Bishop of Arundel to our Lord for his relief of England from the attack of demons most foul. I know many of you did journey like I to that Great Cathedral to witness the Mass and the holy Relics of St James guarded tirelessly by the knight of the Don. And who that was there could fail to be moved by the sincerity and greatness of the Bishop, for he is truly blessed in the sight of God and his Holy Church…
From a sermon delivered by the Bishop of Arundel at the great Mass of Thanksgiving for the delivery of England from Moloch
… and though those of our Christian brethren who have fallen from the True Church will claim that it was by the force of their arms and armies that Moloch and his horde were broken and England was freed from that terrible threat, we know the truth. It was almighty God who has power over all and who took pity upon this land that saved us. But although we should pity the followers of the so-called Church of England in their folly we must not forget that they can still be saved. If we extend our arms in brotherly love and lead by our peaceful example of Christian life then they will turn once more to the Truth of the one Faith. …
From a sermon delivered by an archdeacon at Westminster Abbey.
… but I do not mean that the Church of England is poor in spirit! Nay, for our faith is a rock upon which the lies of the Catholics and other Heretics break. No, the Church has fallen upon hard times more secular. Our steeples topple from neglect, our vestments wear away to threads and our churches crumble. Whereever ye shall gather said our Lord, there shall I be. But we must give Him a home worthy of the Lord and while our coffers remain empty we must fear that He will turn His face away from us …
The collection plates in every Anglican Church in England are sent out as often as possible with pleas from priests to rescue the Church from its financial peril.
From a speech at a Puritan meeting house on a hill outside Brent Knoll in Somerset.
Look around you my brothers and sisters. Can any of you deny that the End of Days is at hand? For twenty days and nights now, since God’s mighty roar, the rain has fallen. The rivers have swollen, the fields are muddy ruins and our homes submerged. The Duke has turned his face from God and we must suffer for his Apostasy. He has caused a theatre to be built to house the Godless players of London and worse, much worse, he along with his crony Sir Alexander Cross has made this County a haven for the Christ-killers. Now God shows his wrath for the sins that have been piled upon Somerset. He will wipe the slate clean of Jewish filth and the stain of the lying theatre with his cleansing rain.
An article published in ‘The Dragon’, an English patriotic pamphlet, now permanently based in Dunkerque and edited by Captain Richard Ball
Here in Dunkerque the Dragoons who stand perpetual guard on this corner of England greeted the news of the promotion of Edward, the Viscount of Hertfordshire, with three great huzzahs which echoed from the towers of their fortress home. For no officer or common soldier here has forgotten the martial glory of that worthy as he broke the walls and drove the Spanish from this city. Who can doubt that every officer in every mess where’er the Dragoons are found raised his glass in salute to their new Lord-General. The King has shown him great respect too for the Viscount is nonesuch now, but raised to the rank of Earl in the peerage of the Realm.
The Dragon too salutes the Lord-General the Earl of Hertfordshire, commander of the Earl of Essex’s Dragoons.
A playbill distributed in the streets of London.
Witness the Theatre Event of the Age: for the First Time the two Greatest Playwrights of the English Stage, Rebecca Lanik and William Brandage, collaborate on the most Magnificent Work. The Tale of two Rival Companies of Players whose professional Jealousy is further enhanced by the Religious Divide between them. But Love will Conquer All as between Two of the Actors of these Rival Factions a Forbidden Love is born.
See too the Birth of a Marvel of Technique and Innovation, the Play within a Play. Twice the Entertainment for Your Money.
The play is an enormous success, its two halves running at the Rose and another theatre. Its message of religious tolerance seems to deeply affect its audiences too.
An Apology printed on cheap paper and distributed in London.
… and All in this town were Shocked by the Report of the Baron Augustus Wells-Lacy on the Lamentable State of the Orphanages of London. Revealed as little more than Training Camps for Petty Larceny, Blackguards and the Fallen Life of Prostitution, they were a Stain Upon London. The Baron did not hesitate to Examine his Own Role in the matter and the Unfortunate State of his own Charges. His Report moved the Hearts of London and reached the ears of her Most Glorious Majesty the Queen, and Subscriptions of Money did Pour in. We can Confidently Report that the Queen Elizabeth's Home for Wayward Boys and Girls is now the Finest Institution of its Type in Christendom. A True Haven for the Unfortunate and a place where they can Learn a Career…
A new pamphlet by “An Observer”, detailing the further adventures of Captain James Cross.
What better token of affection for a blushing bride (and blushing with good reason, for did not the Honeymoon of the Couple leave a trail of Forlorn Hostellers and Jubilant Woodcrafters, as each night a different Bed was Broken into splinters by their Passion) than the Head of a Horrific monstrosity Fabricated by Franzberg?
With a whirl of blades Cross leapt into motion, and the Child Creation against him, Swinging Swords larger than a full-grown man. A Deadly Duel was fought, as Flames Flashed from the creature along with blades, but the Captain Fought on, Fearless.
With a Stroke Swift as Sunlight (and bright too, as the Fire Flashed off his blade) he removed the head, catching it with one hand as he leapt back as the body Exploded. Carried by the Blast he landed in front of his Wife, who was Watching from the Safety of a Ship. As they Set Sail, he was heard to remark:
“Well, that Woke me up! Now, why don't you and I…”
It is hardly this Observer's place to Report on Matters of a Private Nature, and so the Rest of the Remark has been Removed for Respectability.
This hasn't stopped various suggestions getting pencilled in in the circulating copies, everything from a suggestion that his wife might like to join him in testing the strength of the ship's construction to prayer for the souls of Franzberg and his guards to some things which would likely be physically impossible, even for the Captain.
An extract from the sermon of Adam Boundley of Little Sparing, which has turned into something of a tourist attraction as every week the dragon (tended to by the Zilmatillian Ambassador, also something of a spectacle in her own right) comes to attend mass by sticking its head through the front doors of the church, and onlookers gather to marvel.
We must all be very gratified that the Good Lord has chosen to show the wisdom of his words to this magnificent beast, likewise I cannot think of a time when so many fresh faces have filled my church. Welcome, all of you, though if perhaps you could not knock over the…oh well, I am sure it will be the work of moments to mend…oh…oh dear.
Well, as the Lord tells us, in Leviticus chapter 19 verses 17 to 18
Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.
Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.
Let us take this wisdom from him, and know that we may have more brothers than we may think – our draconic brother here has been accepted into the Church, so what other creatures may be our brothers, though we do not yet know them? Every soul is precious to the Lord, and so it is our duty to seek out those who possess them, whatever their outward form, or however inaccessible the land where they may dwell, that they might be saved by being brought into the welcoming arms of the church.
Pamphlets circulated around Cornwall.
What Horror is this, new come to us from the Isle of Voll? What has the Agent of the Adversary visited upon us?
In Mockery of the Human Form they move, with no Spark of the Soul in their eyes, only a Hollow Ticking, the Countdown to the End of Days, marks their movements! From the Seas they came, a tide of bodies. Is this a sign of the end to come, as the sea does give her dead? Nay, I say, for there is no light of the soul in the eyes of these monstrosities, only the glint of Hellish fire.
In mockery of the Resurrection of the Body and the Life of the World to Come were these Creatures Created, foul Clockwork Constructs! What further sign is needed? Must we wait for the Rivers of England to Burn with Bloody Fire as the Foul Franzberg spreads Pandemonium across the country?
The First Sign was a Pillar of Flame, a Beacon to the Demons!
The Second Sign are the Shambling vessels for Satan's Hordes!
The Third will be no Sign but the END!
An extract from “Financial Items” a regular pamphlet which is on the more intelligible end of the financial community's publications and the more technical end of those for the noble who is interested in knowing what his accountants are going on about.
The launch of MISC (The Molyneux Investment and Speculation Company) was an unparalleled success, as the academic authorities on finance came together with some of the movers and shakers in financial circles and a number of students of finance from Cambridge. As business propositions were discussed and theories exchanged, the first company to be traded was a representative of the spirit of innovation which filled the offices, a hamster farming company from an unknown (in financial circles) entrepreneur.
The students were the first to trade, with advice from those present but their own ideas and money, and it seems sure from the interest some of the businessmen, and indeed the proprietor of MISC, the Viscount Sefton himself, were showing in some of the students that many will be snatched away all too soon to put their education to a practical use.
Whilst it would be foolish not to remember that this is a very new company, for those in need of financial backing and expertise for a venture would be well advised to consider MISC as a possible solution their problems.
A pamphlet circulated around Catholic churches.
The Most Holy Bones of St James are once more in their Rightful Resting Place, Anglican Skullduggery and Heathen Piracy being no match for Spanish Steel.
Cry Scorn on the Foul Witches who fill the sails of the Barbary Pirates with air! Cry Sorrow that they shall never know Heaven, for their Crimes brought them Death! Cry Joy for Don Santiago, who did Leap upon the Barbarous Attackers, in Dispatched them from this Mortal Realm in Defence of the Relics!
A section of one of the more lurid gossip pamphlets which details the (supposed) assignations of various members of the nobility.
What is it that finds its place at the side of the Ambassador of Zilmatillia? Creature of Fable or Foul Fiend? Angel or Automaton?
Silver skin and flowing auburn hair; the soft glow of a fading star eclipsed by the sun's light; the movements of a man but the voice of the sea – a constant rush of beats. Appearing Enchanted by each other's company, they graced restaurants and theatres, everywhere followed by the gazes of startled gentry and commoners alike.
Notices presented at the Houses of Parliament, Westminster
Motions of Great Import Have Been Voted Upon As follows:
A Motion to Declare Witchcraft (proposed by Master Henry Dodrige)
I would move that our country provide all means grant health to our people. In aid of this, I propose that each Practitioner of Witchcraft must make him or herself officially known and be recorded with their local priest. Thus, across the country, all such will be recorded and any who wish to easier receive treatment for their ailment or ill, may visit these for medicinal purposes. So that no-one is left without these goods, the failure to accede to such action should incur a significant fine or threat of prison…
This has now additionally been amended to include the same leve of fine as for recusancy.
This motion was narrowly passed by the Commons. This motion was defeated by the Lords. The motion is rejected
Attached is an extract from an impassioned speech by Sir Jerome Nathaniel, MP
Whatever one's personal opinions might be, it is no crime to perform
witchcraft, nor is it a disease. The taking of an official register will
lead only to persecution of these individuals. I hope this point is
proved valid by Master Henry Dodrige's recommendation that those who do
not come forward willingly be punished for wishing to keep this aspect
of their life private. Indeed, it is not within the scope of the law to
strip any person of this right.
A Motion to Allow the Return of Jews to England
… that any such person adhering to the old religion of Judaism may freely return to English soil and engage in any activity that he or she may so wish. That they may be tolerated without recusancy and that by the witness of the deeds of Christians of the Church of England might see the error of their ways and embrace the Word of Our Lord.
This motion is passed by both the Commons and Lords and made Law in England
An Act to Determine the Disposition of Revenues to the Crown from the American Territories (proposed by Arthur Vane, known to be a close Commons associate of the Earl of Southampton)
A motion to establish the a tax on trade with the New World and the formation of the New England Company by Royal and Parliamentary charter. All trade and exploitation of the New World lands to be under the jurisdiction of the New England Company only. Shares in the NEC to be sold by an appointed agent of the Crown (Roebury's Bank proposed).
This motion is passed in both the Commons and Lords and made Law in England
The particulars of this law are discussed in a seperate report.
A beautiful and incredibly ornate pamphlet published on the occasion of the Marriage
… as divine as it must be, the couple have been united in Holy Matrimony and do appear to be graced by all the Men and Angels.
All had come together in a most fantastic light and with decorations wonderful and bright. If only all of England can have observed this service and seen the most loving couple of the Kingdom and beyond.
… a bright shining banner of St. George that flows with all grace and reminds us all of the heroic deeds…
From a small notice, seen in only three or four copies around the coffeehouses of London
… a most amusing distraction to the wedding when, shortly after the ceremony had been concluded and the couple had quit the Church, a most extraordinary, and I should say comical, being approached them. A most gruesome and unfriendly, yet pathetic, expression greeted Katherine before Sir Alexander reached out and grasped the creature by the throat!
Speaking but a few hot words and glaring it as if with all the eyes of the Host he tossed it away and the speed with which it disappeared could not be measured! Most extraordinary. Though perhaps not so amusing as the appearance of the most ridiculous Scots I have ever seen, dressed in a yellow and black kilt and bearing gifts of honey…
A small notice supplied together with some Court Proceedings, it seems to be an English commentary to the Latin text
… and Sir Oswyn Osillbury must be congratulated on a most magnificent perseverance in this matter. For it is he who had initially spotted and identified the traitors. Though but minor operatives within that blasted organisation, they had some months ago apprehended Sir Oswyn and visited upon him much pain and torture - escaping, he took with him the memory of their faces. Such detail that here has allowed them to be exposed and convicted of the foul treachery they have done.
It is most unfortunate that we still remain with little knowledge of their greater schemes. In any case, the trial continued with more mundane proceedings…
A pamphlet published in Durham by a priest
What new terror now is this? The affliction that will strike the good and the bad, the holy and the damned so equally?
The plague that rages in Yorkshire and every second claims more lives doth affect us all, for while those that suffer boils and welts and soon death must bear the brunt, it is yet the observers that must deal with consequence.
It is us, brothers and sisters! We must answer the call of God and yet save all of England and even the World from the Destructive Malady. For there is no doubt that this is divine and visited upon us all, for only with the forethought of His Grace Archbishop Frewen still the plague been confined.
It is time to search within ourselves and Repent! REPENT all our SINS, for it is this IMPERFECTION of mankind that causeth God to take such extreme measures. But by his servant are we still spared, to give us time to think and pray and take action.
ALL MUST REPENT THEIR SINS.
From a sermon by a minor priest to a congregation near Bath
… and a tremendous force, as if the breath of God, did knock me back and send me flying across the beach. The noise as of a multitude of lions roaring from the den and commanding fear and respect.
Then to my sight was revealed a mighty column, burning fierce and bright, such as the pillar of flame that might have guided Moses and his people out of Egypt. Many colours turning in its facets and even strands of pink and purple raining from its sides. Such a sight as shall perhaps never be seen, for though the pillar yet remains, its force and splendour has somewhat dimmed.
Yet great clouds of steam, as fire and water do battle for the state of the Isle still do rage, and make no less of a magnificent sight!
That I am told the Isle of Lundy was so sorely used to rid us of the terror of the heretics and demons of this land, only serves to confirm this as the greatest act of God.
The sound of the explosion of Lundy was heard even in Dunkerque and the enormous pillar of flame, like that which had been in Somerset some year or more ago, but three times greater, can still be seen.
A pamphlet widely distributed in both Noble and Common circles
A new cult is emerging. Now that the devil Moloch has been defeated, his heir is arising, for that of whom I write has indeed begged Moloch for power. His sectarians disguised as pious worshippers of our Church, their leaders come from amongst our clergy and the most evil head of this sect pretends to be a most pious person himself.
Is it not written that the Antichrist shall pretend to be a new Saviour? Would not the Antichrist deny he is the Antichrist? Many have been the signs for the Final Judgement that have appeared recently, and it is because of him!
For those of you who do not know of whom I do speak, I refer to the so-called “Admiral”, Richard Taylor. He has created a sect around him, and his treacherous heretics worship him as their Dark God and Master. They first tried to destroy the holy relics of St. James, for their purity and sanctity was too much for them, but what will be next? Do you not remember how the Archbishop of Canterbury was murdered? Do not believe what they try to tell you! It is them! This hideous Cult of the Butcher!
Beware, men of England! They bring the Apocalypse! Death! Plague! Destruction!
Shall we see how he slowly destroys us? Will we allow him to reign as the Antichrist? Will we allow him, him who wants to bring death and Apocalypse, to anticipate the Wishes of God?
No! PURIFY HIM! FIRE AGAINST THE FIRE!
A financial pamphlet now regularly produced and distributed in London and the Ports
… a most fine motion at the instigation of the Earl of Southampton has now been passed and will usher in a new age of trade and relations with the Crown. With the King more firmly engaged with the interest of trade and the development of English colonies abroad, such that resources of the wider world may be accessed by our Great Kingdom, we look forward to increased patronage from the Monarch.
The creation of the New England Company, that it might oversee and control the trade of the Americas is a welcome move as it will allow our own merchants to more effectively battle the opposition. It has not escaped our own notice that our allies, the French, have become interested in the Americas and Caribbean and may yet enter the arena already so crowded by ourselves and the Spanish.
The debate of who will control the sale of shares within the company, indeed propelling England into the leading financial systems and theories so long debated by our most excellent readers, is still ongoing. The motion in Parliament did not specify a particular agent and the King will soon make a decision.
In our minds, the greatest competition is between Roebury's Bank, a fine and established institution of the Earl of Southampton, and the newly-created and much-awaited Molyneux Investment and Speculation Company (that hath been styled MISC)…
… a most ambitious project that has astounded us with the most novel embrace for a hamster farm. The project seems to have been well-popularised abroad and even now the trade to the Spanish of our superior hamsters is ongoing…
From the end of the pamphlet “Financial Items”.
… and the Archbishop of Schijndel has proven himself a most wise investor, seeing to the finances of his new church and the prosperity of his flock. For seeing that the chaos in the East India Company would only strengthen its rival he bought shared in the Dutch Company even while other investors delayed. These have paid him back mightily over the last few months and he has parleyed them into a portfolio of properties and companies that will keep the Dutch Anglican Church strong for generations to come …
From the “Rake of Fashion”, a frequently published pamphlet distributed in the more exclusive tailors and dressmakers.
And as in Heaven so on Earth. But not sadly in the case of Fashion, for those Who Attempt to Soar with the Angelic Alexandrian Taste find themselves Falling oh so Far into Darkness. Sir Alexander Cross has transcended Mortal Fashions as he continues to Transcend we Poor Mortals in so Many other Matters. We can only look with Longing at the Olympian Heights of Style he Conquers Now.
Amongst the Lesser Beings still Bound to this Earth there are Still those who Stand Above their Fellows, as if Towering over the Pygmy-Tribes of Africa. The Earl of Hertfordshire, Edward de Vries, is one such Giant. Dressed in his Stern Military Black he could never be Mistaken for a Fop so filled with Purpose and Martial Glory is he. And the Tokens of a True English Patriot adorn him, the Cross of St George subtly amongst the Crimson Hues that break the Dark Black with Light. But these are Slim Pickings for most Men, less able to Strike with Sword or Wit than the Lord-General of the mighty Dragoons. For us we can merely Ape in Delighted Imitation de Vries' waistcoat or jacket embroidered with a Golden Lion of Albion.
A pamphlet in Dutch on the one side and English upon the other, distributed amongst the members of that nation in London and those interested in the doings of that not-quite foreign land.
… and armed with the Letter of Patent from Her Majesty the Queen and the words of blessing from His Majesty the King, Augustus Wells-Lacy journeyed to the small barony of Schijndel to spread the light of the Anglican Faith amongst our friends in the Kingdom of the Netherlands. He has donned the vestments of a Bishop once more, moreover he is now the first Archbishop of that new-born Church, with the Queen herself at its Head. For now he preaches fervently and with most seemly grace in a building no larger than an Inn but on the edge of Schijndel a mighty Cathedral has been founded. All things must start small but with God's Grace soon the Dutch Anglican Church shall be mighty…
There are many accounts and theories as to what exactly caused Cheshire to become a mostly grey and barren land. Here are a few thoughts and musings on the matter.
From the memoirs of one Sir Toby Tirkstone, now sadly deceased
So I sit here, now, writing of a terrible noise, as if a tearing of the world that came to pass. It is, perhaps with some amusement that I note how my history of this county has become complete just as I have noticed this most terrible omen.
You may recall my India anecdote, well, this is certainly a noise and feeling far more terrifying than…
The next few words are idecipherable and the script ends there. It was recovered from the ruins of his Cheshire house.
From the sermon of a priest.
… who did summon into the world the Enemy most foul and dangerous. For are we not come to the end of days, and are not all the signs coming true? This was but a show of what is to come, the second summoning into our world and now time flows until Satan and his Hellish HORDES shall come unaided and lay waste and leave none but the faithful alive…
The observations of Severus Kitfield, a Sorcerer of the Invisible College.
Indeed this incident seems consistent in many respects to that of Wittenburg. The same barren ground remains and perhaps a similar loss of life has occured. Of course, while at Wittenburg it was the members and alumni of the institution, in this case it was a selection of the population of Chesire. Though of course the full of extent of death is to be revealed.
Perhaps this is because of a need of souls to close the rent and send the Satan back to Hell? I am still not sure, but the destruction of buildings, trees and various other structures is almost complete, yet many inhabitants still live. How were those that died selected?
I hope that my masters at the College shall deem it necessary to send an expedition with all speed to determine the scale and nature of our 'Backdoor Disaster'. It is without question that the Sorceror and token involved in this ritual are no longer within this world.
From a witnesses account, now published in London
… there was no sound, yet then a terrible roar and the world aflame. From the heavens great clouds descending and roaring thunder through the air. All rent apart, destroyed and twisted into malignant shapes.
Such terror has never visited me before and I am shaken still. To have witnessed this, whatever its cause, must scar all for life.
Shortly before Court, a pamphlet is published and distributed across England in what seems to be the largest print in English history
ON TRUTH, AND THE COMING OF THE END TIMES
I speak to you now, the happy people of Albion, of dire truths and knowledge that hath been revealed to me in my many years of study. Doubt this not, that I have spent my life in the study of the Infernal and of the Profane. In doing so have I discovered a new Scripture, which is known to the Bishops of His Majesty’s Church, but not revealed lest fear drive the English to madness and the arms of the Papists.
England, know this: that God is dead. The civil war and strife among the Hosts of Angels, to which any Theurgist may attest, gives the proof to this, so also the fallen and corrupt state of this rotten world. No salvation may be had, through Christ’s church, or elsewhere; the dead are lost. Lucifer and his minions march towards their inevitable victory over this world, which study may indicate shall occur in the so-called ‘Year of our Lord’, sixteen hundred and sixty-six. Already, they have corrupted the church of Jesus Christ, and the Whore of Babylon that is called Pope squats upon the Throne of Saint Peter. Only England and King Henry can stand against the ENDLESS HORDES OF HELL.
But England, know this: I give you a hope. E’en as you read this, the greatest warriors and savants of the land prepare to strike at the heart and head of the problem. Preparations are underway. THE DEATH OF SATAN HIMSELF SHALL BE ACCOMPLISHED. Give thanks! Already, the Antichrist Itself, the Accursed Pope, is stricken, and paralysed, upon its false throne. Yea, the Roman Pontiff has suffered bodily death, and his minions perpetuate the charade of his rule with rude Conjuration. Also he has made a Cardinal of a Woman.
England, I hope to salute you in victory, after the Final Battle against the Adversary is accomplished. I remain your wretched servant, and that of King Henry,
DARESBURY
“The End of the World is come and gone… it shall now live forever!”
“I am not sure we should be diving in to exploit the Americas, after all, we still haven't sorted out our own business.”
“Have you heard about the chaos in the East India Company? Awful, everyone's died, nodoby's really in control, and the new Lord Director is nothing but a puppet figure. I think the Lord's will is for it to grind itself into dust.”
“The Dutch Anglican Church is the work of Satan… not only is it headed by the most dispicable man allowed into the service of God, it quite clearly puts itself beyond sin or human failure… they all think they're perfect.”
“The King's going to be a fool and leave the country and then get killed by some annoyed Dutchman who thinks he should have been crowned in Amsterdam.”
“The King's immortal, I think Good Queen Bess must have borne him from an Angel… and a powerful one at that.”
“Why are Spanish hamsters so poor and meagre… I mean, don't they know how to grow them?”